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A back whipping in the boarding school
The following back-whipping clip comes from an old film titled variously “The House that Screamed” and “The Boarding School”. I don’t know if the whole movie is any good, but this clip pleased me a great deal.
(Thanks to Chross for sending it.)
Sexuality with no secrets
A few days ago I skim-read something about people’s secrets, and how everybody had some, and how most of these had to do with sexual fantasies. People wishing to do, wear or be something during sex that they wouldn’t admit to anyone.
The thought that stuck with me since was that the issue of sexual secrets is still there for pretty much everybody – other than sex bloggers. What is a sex blog, but a place to talk about your sexual desires?
I have secrets. Of course I do: having a private place in my mind that I don’t open to anybody is integral to my personality. As I examine my secrets and hold them up to the light, I conclude that none of them have to do with my sexuality. As soon as a new desire springs into existence, I discuss it with friends, blog it, or write a story about it, or all three.
Sometimes, I get to act on it in real life. Sometimes – because I’m slow at making connection with new people – it takes a while to find somebody to fulfill a particular fantasy. Whatever happens in real life, though, my sexual desires and fantasies never stay secret any more.
I like it this way. I think it’s healthy. I don’t now if it’s usual, though.
How about you? Do your secrets have to do with sexuality, or do you share your kinks and desires with others?
Crack that whip
I may be the last person to see “Whip It” by Devo, as it appears to be older than the Internet. But my god, it’s hilariously awful. Those red conical hats? If anybody tried whipping me wearing one of those, I might have to spank him first.
http://www.dailymotion.com/videox3093
And yet, there’s something thrilling about this video. I’m oddly drawn to the idea of removing items of clothing by means of a whip. Dangerous, but hot.
P.S. Hello, I’m back from holidays. Holidays are great.
Begging, pleading
“Oh, please, don’t!”
“Please, don’t stop…”
Two different poles of begging, and another point where I find a difference in my headspaces when I bottom and top.
As a bottom, I prefer to beg “no”. To plead to stop, to shout and scream and beg to be spared. When planning shoots, I’ve always asked for non-consensual scenarios, so that I could show my unwillingness.
Playmates have suggested that I must feel guilty for being kinky, and therefore want to pretend I’m not into it, but that’s not it. It just makes me hot to pretend to be unwilling. I’ll happily disect the scene afterwards, conveying openly my pleasure at what’s transpired, but at the time I’ve always preferred to hate it.
As a top… turns out I like to be begged “yes”. I like it that the treatment I dispence is seen as a pleasure and a reward, no matter how painful and cruel it may be. It warms me to hear “don’t stop” from Jimmy’s lips, and to know that I just might – or maybe that I won’t, but make him wonder if I will.
Again, why? Insecurities speaking, maybe? (Note to self: write about insecurities.) I don’t know. It’s just… Hot, that’s what it is.
I do enjoy being begged to stop, as well, but that comes as no surprise, just a kink complementary to my bottom side. The other one, I’ll just keep exploring.
With my knees against my mouth
Munchkins, you may know this song, “Small Blue Thing” by Suzanne Vega. I happen to think it’s one of the sexiest, most intimate songs in the world. In my submissive moments I’ve been known to repeat the lyrics to myself to heighten the mood.
Does anybody else get the same vibe from it?
The state of F/M porn
If you want good porn, shoot your own. This is my conclusion after a couple of weeks of hopeful browsing of F/M BDSM sites.
Is it only my uneducated impression, or does most of the F/M visual content out there really, really suck? Perhaps, the good stuff is out there, and I’m just not finding it?
Here’s what I dislike about the stuff I’ve seen. For the most part, the men are faceless and invisible, no more than props to show off the fetishised power of the female dominants. These pose and strut, whips at the ready. I don’t dare say there’s nothing sexy about their heels and catsuits, but whatever sexuality there is, is focused entirely at the camera. I don’t see chemistry between the players, I don’t see passion, or even play-acted attraction. The kinky electricity flows not between the players, but directly from the domme at the camera: at the supposedly enthralled male gaze.
As a female viewer, I feel irrelevant. This isn’t surprising, because most porn is made for men. Even so, when I watch X/F porn, I can get a lot of pleasure out of it just by empathising with the girl on the reveiving end. Perhaps, this is the key to my dismay: when I look at spanking/BDSM porn, I want to empathise with the submissive. It’s all about the submissive for me, male or female. In the F/M porn, instead, the gaze follows not the submissive – the object of empathy, but the woman – the object of lust.
Now, being bisexual with a strong preference for women, I ought to be drawn to the dommes in F/M, the same way I’m attracted to the women in X/F videos. And yet, they leave me cold. This is, perhaps, because I look at the F/M stuff from the point of view of a female dominant, and so another female dominant under the circumstances is a like charge, gently repelling. Or maybe it’s because I just haven’t found the sort of dommes that I’m attracted to.
I wonder: this porn, shot entirely for the male gaze – does it work for its intended audience? Is it satisfying? Or maybe it works only up to a point? If you’re a male submissive, I’d love to know how it’s working for you.
Also, am I maybe missing some great F/M content? If there’s something that works for you, I’d like to know abot it, in case it works for me as well.
Brandon Flowers in bondage
This new solo music video from the lead singer of the Killers is simply delicious. Brandon Flowers spends the entire thing tied up and having to be rescued by an awesome girl with a sword. Note new bruises being added every once in a while, and his clothes growing ever more tattered.
Do you know what I love about this? The pathetic little smile he gives her every time she saves his ass.
Also, I think that after the third consecutive rescue she may want to give him a good paddling, to teach him to stay out of trouble in the future.
Making him cry
Lust and compassion are a heady mix.
Jimmy was lying on the bed, delightfully naked, hands cuffed to the headboard. His back sported interesting loop-shaped prints from the monster toy I’d brought back from Florida especially for him. His backside was an even, deep pink – not a small feat when each stroke was leaving only a thin, curved line. I was whipping him because I could, and because I liked to, and because he is beautiful when he’s in pain.
His head was turned to the side on the pillow, and on his cheek I could see tracks of tears. I raised the implement; he looked back at me, wide-eyed, tears spilling onto his face. I brought the whip down onto his shoulders. He choked on a scream, and buried his face in the pillow, sobbing audibly. The whip fell again.
I suppose it would have been a reasonable question to ask myself at some point of my journey into topping, but I never wondered what I’d do if I made somebody cry. Never wondered what I’d feel. The freedom to cry is very hard to find for most bottoms I know; the possibility of getting there with Jimmy had seemed quite remote. And yet, here he was, shaking with tears, swallowing them back: crying. For me.
What I found is that I really liked it. If there had been distress behind the tears, or any psychological reason, I might have – might have! – felt some guilt. As it was, playing with nothing but pain, I found strength in his surrender. Not so much because I was causing him pain and obviously having an effect, but because he was clearly hurting, and yet submitting to me, and choosing to carry on with the scene.
Jimmy’s submission is the fire that feeds every word spoken, every glance exchanged, every cut of the whip. It’s thrilling and humbling, and I delight in receiving it. His tears were part of my prize.
I believe I want to do this again.
(Picture from the M/M site BoundGods)
‘Fear is part of the thrill’
Munchkins, are any of you fans of Neil Hannon of “Divine Comedy”?
If you are, you have, no doubt, already noticed that the title song of his new album “Bang Goes the Knighthood” is evidently inspired by the misadventures of our friend Max Mosley. If you’re not a fan, you are a) losing out on amazing music, b) should watch this video, recorded at an album-signing event in Dublin:
I have a couple of observations regarding this song.
1. If Ian Blair is a “Sir” now, with his fine bouquet of controversy, including minor things like having civilians shot on his watch and phone-tapping the Attorney General, I don’t see why peaceful enjoyment of BDSM should interfere with anyone getting a knighthood.
2. “Fear is part of the thrill”, is it now? Allow me to indulge in the fantasy that Mr Hannon knows whereof he speaks. Dear Neil: I don’t usually grind people under my heel, for lack of heels, but I give a fine whipping. Apply above.
From the all-caps brigade
This lovely comment got caught in my moderation queue, and I thought it needed to be brought to the attention of the wider audience. (It was left originally on a post with a film review):
MAY GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU FOR DOING SUCH A TERRIBLE SIN. ALL THE PRODUCERS AND EVERYONE WHO LOVE TO WATCH THIS KIND OF THING.
IF YOU THINK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE IS RIGHT, YOU ARE TOTALLY WORNG!
AND YOU PITY CRETURES WILL NOT WANT TO KNOW THE RESULT OF THIS SIN YOU HAVE TO GET.
Get it, you pity cretures? Bless you for sinning.
