Watch me suffer

The Great Underwear Paradox

I went blog-surfing last night, and found this lovely woman by the name of Tasty Trixie. Her sites are shockingly sexual (um, yeah, that’s the idea… she makes vanilla porn), but the blog is so delightful that I read it despite it being not my kind of smut at all. (I love a good rant, I do, and she’s excellent at ranting.)

However, digging through her archives, I found something that relates to what I do, as well. Here’s a post where she recounts a conversation with a certain pea-brain:

I wore one of my favorite pairs of underwear: white cotton brief panties edged with red lace and a tiny red satin bow. Some guy in the chatroom named “Camron” kept remarking on them, suggesting, “you should invest in a thong” and “need to lose the granny panties”. If I had time to properly school him, I’d have let him know the following:

#1) I only change my attire for people who pay me by the minute to field their personal requests.

#2) If I am wearing a certain pair of panties during a show, chances are it’s because I like them and find them sexy myself which means that if he isn’t paying me by the minute, I couldn’t care less what his personal preference is, because mine is all that matters.

#3) INVEST in a thong? As though because during one hour of one day of one week of one month I am wearing one pair of underwear, it must mean I do not posess any others; very stupid assumption.

#4) Let’s pretend I don’t own a thong: if there is an article of clothing I do not own but someone wants me to wear, the appropriate thing to do is to ask for my mailing address so he can send me whatever it is.

#5) Anyone who doesn’t appreciate the appeal of modest white cotton panties probably will not appreciate me, my site, my shows, or most of what I have to offer. White cotton panties rock my fucking world. I’m sure there are people I have much in common with who could care less about white cotton panties, but anyone who would ADVERTISE that while I’m wearing them, stupidly assuming I could only be wearing them out of a lack of options or ignorance regarding what is “sexy”, is himself mentally incompetent and has really really really bad taste.

Funny she should mention it. Because on spanking sites, whenever there’s a hint of a thong, somebody will pipe up and bitch about girls not wearing “proper panties”. Because for many spanko men thongs are just wrong: a bottom must be covered to start with, and then gradually uncovered to the point of being bare. A thong makes them miss out on one full stage of undressing, so when one appears in a film for one reason or another, there is always much complaining going on.

Maybe we should swap audiences with Trixie?

After reading the quoted rant, I think it’s criminal that I can’t charge separately for filming requests. I could be rich overnight just from riding on the wave of lovers of tights! (Or, more likely, not. But maybe the producers could. As it is, they just harvest requests and treat them as inspiration, which is also not too bad, but not as nice as money.)

A different sort of spanking party.

It felt like the whole world was going to the Shadow Lane party this weekend. Or, at least, most of my scene friends were.

Unable to beam myself to the States, I had to go out and make some more scene friends.

It wasn’t as simplistic as that, of course, but the gist of it is that a nice girl I met through a personal advert a couple of months ago held a “school day” party yesterday. Apart from my own Mr. Haze, she was the only other person I knew there to begin with. Such things can be quite daunting – especially when you are walking into a house you’ve never been to before dressed like a tart wearing a school uniform that’s not quite as long as your very short coat.

Anyway. Along with three other girls I got to sit in a perfectly stocked schoolroom while our respective partners took turns teaching us lessons. I learned that I still can’t count or draw, and no amount of cane swinging will change that. I also got sprayed from a water pistol while bending over for the slipper. I daren’t post a more detailed account, but overall, it was wicked fun.

Cheeky line of the week-end (not from me):

Teacher: Do you know what happened in 1717?

Girl: You were born, sir?

Awww.

I like making new scene friends. I’d do it more often if I wasn’t so attrocious at emailing people back.

Sugasm #23

(A.K.A. Weekends are for posting links and playing with traffic.)

The best of the blogs by the bloggers who blog them, this week starting with the letter S. If you haven’t checked out the new FAQ, give it a look – it takes effect next week.

• Secret Audio Reads: Right Now (secretbrain.blogspot.com…)
• Sex in the News – Lit for the Clit (seskuality.com…)
• So, You Want to Touch My Pussy? (suburbansexpot.blogs.com…)
• Spanking Producers of Very Little Brain (adelehaze.com…)
• Sunday Afternoon – Part One (masterenigma.blogspot.com…)
• Supernova (barelace.blogspot.com…)
• Under the Table… (sexblogthis.blogspot.com…)
• Virtual Hotwife (theholidaylife.blogspot.com…)
• What’s wrong with this picture video? (realadultsex.com…)
• Why Are Lesbians So Sexy? (hotcouple.co.uk)
• The worst dating advice imaginable (hackingthebrain.com…)
• wow…Bear with me: all that loveliness made me all sentimental n stuff (vagueboy.com…)
• Ad Libitum (ambientstorm.blogspot.com…)
• After, it is silent… (damnjezebel.com…)
• After it Tickles (v-boat.blogspot.com…)
• Alone at My Parents’ House (secretsofadirtygirl.blogspot.com…)
• Artificial Pee (radicalvixen.com…)
• Belle Started Kissing Me (anawtymouz.blogspot.com…)
• Bound (gentlygently.blogspot.com…)
• A Pornographers Guide to Protecting Kids from Porn Online (sugarbank.com…)

More Sugasm…
Join the Sugasm

Those spanking models are so scary, you know.

There’s a curious breed of spanko men: they are so afraid of manipulation that they have a defensive aura around them as thick as anti-missile armour. I saw at least one of those at each party I did. They expect to be duped, led astray, made fools of and kicked out into the cold while the heartless girl laughs her naked butt off, stuffing bills into her corset – and still they can’t stay away – and still they’re afraid.

This doesn’t quite compute. A guy comes in to smack girls’ bottoms – and he’s *defensive*? Where’s the logic in this?

Obviously, somewhere, somehow, these folks picked up an image of a vamp in pigtails and pleated skirt, and then they proceed to be scared witless of her all through the party, and nothing you can do will put them at ease. Which is quite disheartening, really, because firstly, we work really hard at those parties to put people at their ease, and secondly, I’m personally not used to scaring people just by smiling at them, and particularly not by bending over their lap. Whoever the hell that scared guy is seeing when he’s glaring at me with suspicion, it’s definitely not me, and when people look at you and see somebody else – somebody they don’t really like all that much – it’s really rather creepy.

I can’t really write it off to first-time nerves, because at both of my parties there were several guys new to commercial party scene, and not all of them looked at me as though I was about to steal their teddy-bear. Besides, first-time nerves don’t explain the ones that I haven’t even met, but who send me private messages on forums I read.

From time to time I’ll get a message asking me about my work, and it would be obvious that the guy is in full self-defence mode against being somehow duped.

My favourite dialogue goes like this:
“Do you do private appointments?”
“No, I don’t.”
“How do I know that?”

Eh? Because if I did, I wouldn’t do it so secretly that no prospective clients every found out, maybe?

Or here’s another one I love:
“You’re not actually into spanking, are you?”
“Yes, I actually am.”
“Well, I don’t believe you.”

OK, whatever. But if you thought you’d be lie to, why ask the questions in the first place?

I’d like to find out who perpetuates the myth of bad, bad, bad spanking models who are bad, and to offer the perpetuators something to complain about.