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Watch me suffer
Watching it, though? It doesn’t look like Nick even hit that hard. The deep bruises I got from a previous strapping that day, and which screamed agony every time the paddle got anywhere near them, are hardly noticeable. Honestly, how unfair is that?
The Great Underwear Paradox
I went blog-surfing last night, and found this lovely woman by the name of Tasty Trixie. Her sites are shockingly sexual (um, yeah, that’s the idea… she makes vanilla porn), but the blog is so delightful that I read it despite it being not my kind of smut at all. (I love a good rant, I do, and she’s excellent at ranting.)
However, digging through her archives, I found something that relates to what I do, as well. Here’s a post where she recounts a conversation with a certain pea-brain:
I wore one of my favorite pairs of underwear: white cotton brief panties edged with red lace and a tiny red satin bow. Some guy in the chatroom named “Camron” kept remarking on them, suggesting, “you should invest in a thong” and “need to lose the granny panties”. If I had time to properly school him, I’d have let him know the following:
#1) I only change my attire for people who pay me by the minute to field their personal requests.
#2) If I am wearing a certain pair of panties during a show, chances are it’s because I like them and find them sexy myself which means that if he isn’t paying me by the minute, I couldn’t care less what his personal preference is, because mine is all that matters.
#3) INVEST in a thong? As though because during one hour of one day of one week of one month I am wearing one pair of underwear, it must mean I do not posess any others; very stupid assumption.
#4) Let’s pretend I don’t own a thong: if there is an article of clothing I do not own but someone wants me to wear, the appropriate thing to do is to ask for my mailing address so he can send me whatever it is.
#5) Anyone who doesn’t appreciate the appeal of modest white cotton panties probably will not appreciate me, my site, my shows, or most of what I have to offer. White cotton panties rock my fucking world. I’m sure there are people I have much in common with who could care less about white cotton panties, but anyone who would ADVERTISE that while I’m wearing them, stupidly assuming I could only be wearing them out of a lack of options or ignorance regarding what is “sexy”, is himself mentally incompetent and has really really really bad taste.
Funny she should mention it. Because on spanking sites, whenever there’s a hint of a thong, somebody will pipe up and bitch about girls not wearing “proper panties”. Because for many spanko men thongs are just wrong: a bottom must be covered to start with, and then gradually uncovered to the point of being bare. A thong makes them miss out on one full stage of undressing, so when one appears in a film for one reason or another, there is always much complaining going on.
Maybe we should swap audiences with Trixie?
After reading the quoted rant, I think it’s criminal that I can’t charge separately for filming requests. I could be rich overnight just from riding on the wave of lovers of tights! (Or, more likely, not. But maybe the producers could. As it is, they just harvest requests and treat them as inspiration, which is also not too bad, but not as nice as money.)
A different sort of spanking party.
It felt like the whole world was going to the Shadow Lane party this weekend. Or, at least, most of my scene friends were.
Unable to beam myself to the States, I had to go out and make some more scene friends.
It wasn’t as simplistic as that, of course, but the gist of it is that a nice girl I met through a personal advert a couple of months ago held a “school day” party yesterday. Apart from my own Mr. Haze, she was the only other person I knew there to begin with. Such things can be quite daunting - especially when you are walking into a house you’ve never been to before dressed like a tart wearing a school uniform that’s not quite as long as your very short coat.
Anyway. Along with three other girls I got to sit in a perfectly stocked schoolroom while our respective partners took turns teaching us lessons. I learned that I still can’t count or draw, and no amount of cane swinging will change that. I also got sprayed from a water pistol while bending over for the slipper. I daren’t post a more detailed account, but overall, it was wicked fun.
Cheeky line of the week-end (not from me):
Teacher: Do you know what happened in 1717?
Girl: You were born, sir?
Awww.
I like making new scene friends. I’d do it more often if I wasn’t so attrocious at emailing people back.
Sugasm #23
(A.K.A. Weekends are for posting links and playing with traffic.)
The best of the blogs by the bloggers who blog them, this week starting with the letter S. If you haven’t checked out the new FAQ, give it a look - it takes effect next week.
- Secret Audio Reads: Right Now (secretbrain.blogspot.com…)
- Sex in the News - Lit for the Clit (seskuality.com…)
- So, You Want to Touch My Pussy? (suburbansexpot.blogs.com…)
- Spanking Producers of Very Little Brain (adelehaze.com…)
- Sunday Afternoon - Part One (masterenigma.blogspot.com…)
- Supernova (barelace.blogspot.com…)
- Under the Table… (sexblogthis.blogspot.com…)
- Virtual Hotwife (theholidaylife.blogspot.com…)
- What’s wrong with this
picturevideo? (realadultsex.com…) - Why Are Lesbians So Sexy? (hotcouple.co.uk)
- The worst dating advice imaginable (hackingthebrain.com…)
- wow…Bear with me: all that loveliness made me all sentimental n stuff (vagueboy.com…)
- Ad Libitum (ambientstorm.blogspot.com…)
- After, it is silent… (damnjezebel.com…)
- After it Tickles (v-boat.blogspot.com…)
- Alone at My Parents’ House (secretsofadirtygirl.blogspot.com…)
- Artificial Pee (radicalvixen.com…)
- Belle Started Kissing Me (anawtymouz.blogspot.com…)
- Bound (gentlygently.blogspot.com…)
- A Pornographers Guide to Protecting Kids from Porn Online (sugarbank.com…)
Those spanking models are so scary, you know.
There’s a curious breed of spanko men: they are so afraid of manipulation that they have a defensive aura around them as thick as anti-missile armour. I saw at least one of those at each party I did. They expect to be duped, led astray, made fools of and kicked out into the cold while the heartless girl laughs her naked butt off, stuffing bills into her corset - and still they can’t stay away - and still they’re afraid.
This doesn’t quite compute. A guy comes in to smack girls’ bottoms - and he’s *defensive*? Where’s the logic in this?
Obviously, somewhere, somehow, these folks picked up an image of a vamp in pigtails and pleated skirt, and then they proceed to be scared witless of her all through the party, and nothing you can do will put them at ease. Which is quite disheartening, really, because firstly, we work really hard at those parties to put people at their ease, and secondly, I’m personally not used to scaring people just by smiling at them, and particularly not by bending over their lap. Whoever the hell that scared guy is seeing when he’s glaring at me with suspicion, it’s definitely not me, and when people look at you and see somebody else - somebody they don’t really like all that much - it’s really rather creepy.
I can’t really write it off to first-time nerves, because at both of my parties there were several guys new to commercial party scene, and not all of them looked at me as though I was about to steal their teddy-bear. Besides, first-time nerves don’t explain the ones that I haven’t even met, but who send me private messages on forums I read.
From time to time I’ll get a message asking me about my work, and it would be obvious that the guy is in full self-defence mode against being somehow duped.
My favourite dialogue goes like this:
“Do you do private appointments?”
“No, I don’t.”
“How do I know that?”
Eh? Because if I did, I wouldn’t do it so secretly that no prospective clients every found out, maybe?
Or here’s another one I love:
“You’re not actually into spanking, are you?”
“Yes, I actually am.”
“Well, I don’t believe you.”
OK, whatever. But if you thought you’d be lie to, why ask the questions in the first place?
I’d like to find out who perpetuates the myth of bad, bad, bad spanking models who are bad, and to offer the perpetuators something to complain about.
Disorderly Housekeeping
My blog might turn into a pumpkin for a while as I move it from WordPress to my proper host. (Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing. I think.)
In any event, if it looks weird today or tomorrow, that’s why.
UPDATE: All done for now. No more weirdness planned until further notice.
Spankable Names: Choosing a Screen Name
I don’t think I’ll surprise anyone by saying that I’m not really called Adele Haze. I’m sure there are people who act under their real names. In fact, some people’s real names sound like porn nicks to start with (the founder of Kenwood, Mr. Kenneth Wood, comes to mind).
Anyway, for me changing the name before I go into a scene is like changing a costume: it puts me in the right mood. I like changes; they keep me fresh. In fact, I’ve been Adele Haze for long enough that I’m beginning to think how much fun it would be to change it to something completely new and off-the-wall, but that would be a marketing nightmare, therefore I won’t.
When I was negotiating my first shoot with Lucy, she helpfully sent me a long list of names that were already used in the British commercial scene. I wish I still had it: it read like cheerleaders’ roll-call. There are names, you know, that seem to carry a spankable air; you see them often in spanking stories: Mandy, Amy, Kayla, Chrissie, Megan, Jessie, Melissa - I bet you have an image in front of your dirty mind’s eyes of what each girl would be like, what she would wear, what implements would have to be used. That list Lucy sent me was like that: an A4 page of pure spanking poetry. Whether the girls on it are anything like I’d imagined is quite beside the point.
In any event, some of the names I would have picked off the top of my head were already taken, so I decided to stop going by the sound and instead to pick something that had significance for me.
Adele is for the little girl in “Jane Eyre”, Mr. Rochester’s charge; I used to imagine that with his sort of temper he might not have been completely above using the birch to deal with the little brat - and a brat she definitely was. As for Haze - it is for Dolores Haze, and I shall say no more.
Spanking Pixel People
Why isn’t there a “prostitution” carreer track? I know that demanding a pro-spankee carreer is pushing it, because most people haven’t heard of us, but escorts are everywhere. Why not in the Sims? (I bet I know why. I bet it’s because selling sex is illegal in the States. Well, that justifies having pro-spankees, then, or at least pro-dommes, seeing as they are more prevalent in the public psyche.)
I want somebody to make a new game. I even have a name for it: “UnwholeSims”. Pretty cool, no?
Spanking Producers of Very Little Brain
Perhaps, some readers would expect me to be a cheerleader for the industry, but I can’t help being an opinionated brat. (And I won’t let anybody punish me for this, either: as far as I’m concerned, it’s a great personality trait. Besides, I don’t really feel like part of the industry yet, having only experienced life in its one tiny corner.)
Thus, let me confirm what you might have noticed before: a lot of spanking films are really bad. Mostly, these are the ones that are made by big-budget vanilla pornsters looking to branch out; those guys don’t quite understand how to make a spanko go “Ooooooh.”
Dear producers of spanking films, when you’re not into spanking yourselves, here are a few things you should bear in mind:
- Make your fucking doms take off their fucking jeans and put some decent trousers on when they’re supposed to be teaching a class or taking detention. An academic gown *may* be a lot to ask for, but honestly: a teacher in jeans?
- If your dom doesn’t know what to say in response to a bratty girl’s comment, for God’s sake, do another take. Nothing breaks the mood more surely than an umming and aaaahhhing disciplinarian.
- And actually, why not walk through the scene before filming it in the first place? It takes all of five minutes, because you don’t have to do the spanking as well.
- Effective disciplinarians don’t shout.
- While we’re on the subject of doms: please hire some hot ones. Of course, good-looking male models want paying, and smaller companies will simply go bust if they pay the men. But when you’re a large company, there’s no excuse to leave the spanking to the same middle-aged creep with a declasse accent and zero screen presence.
- If your actors can’t cope with improvisation, do them a kindness and give them a script; even a basic one will do.
- However, I have to concede that a lot of people with decent improvisation skills sound pretty stilted with a script. In this case, stop telling your actors what to say; (Yes, I’m quite contrary, aren’t I? Well, making good porn takes intuition.)
- Develop some intuition!
- There is absolutely no need to have schoolgirls take all their clothes off. None. It bugs the hell out of people with the authentic school kink - and those who don’t have it don’t care that the girl was dressed in a school uniform in the first place. There’s space for everything: do some films with nudity if your viewers want them. But please, stop stripping schoolgirls naked for no good reason.
- Most spankos don’t actually care for extreme anatomical close-ups of girls’ genitalia. You know, those bottoms that they like seeing smacked? When during a spanking you zoom on the labia, leaving the spanking action completely off-screen, you’re wasting the content that’s the whole *point* of your site. Get a clue.
- Your best shot would be to hire a spanko director, and give her full creative freedom.
- There is a special place in hell saved for webmasters who in the description on their sites use language that’s derogatory to the models. Nobody consents to her image being used next to a slogan “teach this bitch a lesson”, or similar. Don’t do this. Seriously.
- A smaller, but still hot place in hell is reserved for people who allow rampant spelling mistakes in their descriptions, with particularly scorchy frying pans for the misspellers of models’ names.
Not pointing fingers here, or anything, but sapienti sat.
On The Subject Of Limits
And I’m talking about psychological limits here as much as what you will or won’t be hit with.
I know a girl whose rigid, absolute limit is that she will never play any “spanked for smoking” scenes. Her aversion to smoking is so strong that she won’t associate herself with somebody who’d do it even in a fantasy. Another girl won’t play “wife caught overspending on credit-cards” - bad memories of student debt, I guess; she’s very responsible. And it’s all OK, you know. Just as much OK as my hang-up about playing a shoplifter (or any type of petty thief - burglaries or, say, bank robberies are fine). Or in fact my reluctance to work with vanilla girls who do spanking stuff for money only. It’s hard to avoid, unless Northern Spanking (who have every respect for limits) remain the only people I work for, but it’s still fine. Limits are OK. I wish it was possible to drum it into some people’s heads. Limits are personal, and they are *fine*.
I don’t smoke either, incidentally, and never would, but I don’t mind being spanked for holding a cigarette. As long as it’s not lit and stinking at me, in which case I become very ill.
So, what are the big things I won’t do on camera?
The simple answer is, I won’t do anything that I don’t feel is hot to some degree. I’ve ventured into this carreer to get my pervy kicks; money is nice, particularly in as much as it makes me hot to be paid for doing spanking modelling, but my biggest consideration is pervy kicks.
I won’t do anything to do with sex. I don’t care much about sex on the whole. Things that are sexy to many (most?) women are jaw-achingly boring to me. Spanking is sensual or psycho-erotic for me rather than sexual, so I just stick to spanking. Vanilla porn sends me to sleep. I love reading about how vanilla porn industry works, but the sex itself doesn’t really appeal.
I won’t model with my breasts exposed. They are very large breasts, and I’ve been told that I could make heaps of money and millions of fans just for taking my bra off, but I’m too shy to do it.
I won’t be hit anywhere other than my bottom, hands and (in exceptional circumstances) the backs of my thighs. I’m curious about feet, but I’ve never tried it properly, and it would have to be justified by the plot. In my private play I like to have my face slapped (by prior arrangement), but I wear braces right now, so I have to be careful of them. Anywhere else is just out.
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