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White Cotton Panties
I’ve just realised the whole of last week went by without a picture post. So sorry, munchkins! Here’s evidence that a belt works just as well on the panties as it does on the bare bottom.
Research Your Porn
Normally I’m quite good at suspending disbelief when I’m reading spanking stories. It needs a lot of suspension, but I’m willing to go there. Yet, there are some things that are just too ridiculous to let go.
For instance, I was browsing through the “Nexus” series in a bookshop, and started reading something called “The Book of Punishment”. The prose was nice, so, unlike usually, I read past the first page, and even past the prologue, straight into the first chapter.
Where I found a character who is a pro-dom in London. He makes his living spanking women. They pay him, consistently and devotedly, because they are desperate housewives, and he’s a darling of the London scene. In the very first scene in which we meet him he spanks a plump middle-aged woman, who regularly forks over part of her income just so that he could indulge her otherwise unsatisfied craving. He’s just that good.
If you are in the UK scene - indeed, even if you’re just skirting its edges - you’re probably laughing your ass off right now. Because there’s a rule established by life itself, something that everybody who has spent any time in the scene (including the online scene), finds out very early on: women do not need to pay men to be spanked. Sure, they may do that if they want to. Say, it turns them on to be spanked by somebody they paid. Or they have a very specific scene in mind. Or the top doubles up with a particularly desirable dominatrix. Or whatever.
But the rule of thumb is that if a woman wants a man to spank her - and she doesn’t require a relationship to go with her play - she can usually get what she wants. It doesn’t matter how old she is, what she looks like, what her marital status is, what she does for a job, whether she has a brain, whether she has a personality, whether she was even born a woman - it just doesn’t matter. Women do not need to pay men. Pro-doms spank men, and maybe an occasional woman who happens by.
I just couldn’t suspend my disbelief far enough, I’m afraid. I don’t know why this should have been a stumbling block - Heaven knows, a lot of implausible stuff happens in erotica. But this idea that enough women in London can get spanked for free that a guy can get a living as a M/F pro-dom, threw me right out of the text. At first I couldn’t figure out why I minded, but then I knew: this uber-dom, flying in the face of kinky demographics, smells so much of a male Mary Sue that it renders the book laughable.
It’s widely known that a lot of male writers of erotica in general and Nexus books in particular write under female names for the sake of sales. Sometimes you can tell, sometimes you can’t. I wonder if I’ve just found one of those fake women. (I’m not saying it matters if the author is a man, but it’s kind of funny if that’s true.)
There are a couple of other annoying things in that book, such as a Russian prostitute Natasha (the author is not indulging in ethnic stereotyping, honest) who goes from London to Moscow to earn some money by walking the streets (because we all know that punters in Moscow are likely to be so much richer than those in England). The few paragraphs where she recounts her adventures make it obvious that the author hasn’t researched Moscow very much. That would probably have been fine with me were I not already ticked off. Before the first chapter was over, I found myself putting the book back onto the shelf and moving on.
I’m a bit miffed that “The Book of Punishment” hasn’t lived up to the promise of its nice prose and intriguing title, but strangely, printed porn is rarely anything but disappointing.
What the Net dragged in - 6
Search engine hits have been very ordinary recently, but I’ve finally assembled enough amusing stuff to justify posting to my favourite category.
Yeah. I’m easily amused, I’ll admit it.
office party spanking gets wife in trouble - Eh? She gets into trouble for being spanked at an office party? What’s wrong with that?
mum smacked my bottom alot - And if you’d used correct spelling, you might have got more results.
young ladies benefit from paddling - Yep, all that rowing is really good for you! Excellent exercise.
spanking out loud - As opposed to spanking *mentally*?
the tawse really hurts - No joke, munchkin, it really does. Particularly on the hands. Yum. (Note to self: write a post about my encounter with an actual teacher who used to use actual tawses.)
Shagging Pixel People
A while ago, in my post Spanking Pixel People I complained that there was no spanking action in the Sims. And what do I find surfing the web today?
Apparently, there’s a new game about to come out called Naughty America, wherein there’s a sex option. That is, where the Sims get under the covers and wriggle a lot, the characters in this new game don’t have any covers on their beds. They just have sex.
The only downside to this wealth of pixel pornography is that it seems to be an online multiplayer RPG, so in order to make the funny little figures jump into bed you need to:
a) identify with one of them
b) find another character you want your character to jump into bed with
Is it illustrated cybering, or what?
If there’s a version where you can create several cartoon people and make them screw each other, rather than becoming a cartoon person myself, I might just have a go.
(Naughty America, though? Is the rest of the world not supposed to participate, or something?)
Ask Bailey a Question
I have decided to have a go at interviewing people here on the blog. My first victim is going to be the adorable Bailey, who models for the Real Spankings empire. (Here is a picture of her OTK, looking distressed.)
I’ve already got lots of questions to ask her, but I thought that you folks might have questions as well.
Of course, we can’t expect the poor girl to answer millions of questions, so we’ve come up with a competition: you send in your questions, and two of the best questions get answered in the interview.
How do we decide? Well, I will select one, and Bailey herself will select another. Seems quite fair.
Send your question to askbailey@adelehaze.com by the end of Sunday (May 28, 2006) to have a go. (After that the address will self-destroy in a puff of smoke.) Please sign the letter with the name under which you want to be acknowledged.
It’s possible that your question will match one that I’ve already got on my list - in which case, no offence, but we’ll select somebody else’s. You’ll still get your answer, but you won’t be the winner.
A Military Flogging Video. Almost.
So, I’m quietly procrastinating here, watching the TV series “Rome”, which I’ve recorded ages ago and never got around to watching, and what do I see five minutes into the first episode?
A full-blown millitary flogging of a Roman soldier in front of his whole century. He’s tied to a frame, and a huge guy is flogging him on his back, while a different guy lectures all the other men about what happens to soldiers who get drunk.
The whip is doing some serious damage on the guy’s back, but he does no more than grunt (of course). When they finally untie him, he says to the executioner: “Is that it? I was just beginning to enjoy myself.”
Yes, quite.
I’ve got the whole first series recorded. Surely they’ll whip a slavegirl or two before the thing ends? A threat and an off-screen whipping will be enough for me.
It absolutely blows my mind that it’s OK to show a flogging where the victim’s back is covered with (fake) blood, but that the censors get prickly about raised welts on girls’ bottoms. Obviously, the difference lies in fake vs. real damage, but it’s still unfair.
Online Courting
Somebody IM’d Natty out of the blue and informed her that she needed a spanking. I love what she has to say at that:
I have to be able to consider you some sort of equal before you can comfortably utter those words to me. And if the first words out of your mouth are those words, then you have clearly demonstrated that you’re not.
I’m not sure I resent these words as much as Natty does, mainly because I’ve been messaged with things so odd and brazen that being told I need a spanking quite out of the blue seems kinda mild afterwards. That said, I would certainly shrug and move on if somebody’s first line to me assumed this sort of tone.
There is an argument that if a woman is writing about anything to do with sex and sexuality, she shouldn’t get all huffy when people come on to her in a laddish manner. In my opinion, this happens to be a load of bollocks. Telling a woman what she *should* feel results in nothing. And telling her “you shouldn’t act offended when you’ve invited the crude remarks” isn’t going to make her attracted to you.
So, there are girls who like forward flirting. However, if a girl you’re trying to flirt with isn’t one of them, you’ll certainly get ignored, and will maybe get an earful, and telling her that *some* girls are OK with it, isn’t going to help.
If you aren’t going to be polite because your mama raised you that way, at least be polite because it will get you the girl more surely.
Making of “Lessons in Latin”
Now that my study break is over, I’m going to talk a little (or a lot) about the making of the Northern Spanking film I’ve been plugging here last week via a temporary stills exhibition.
“Lessons in Latin” was a special little film in a few ways.
1. Preparations. I’m happy to say, we totally geeked out on those. Niki wanted to be a bullying prefect who makes her fag do all the Latin homework. I rather liked the idea of making the viewers sit through a Latin poetry recital, and getting Niki into trouble for screwing it up. So, looking for obscene verses, I went through a lot of Ovid, plus some Carmina Burana - bits of which I remember from school as being pretty rude - and finally through Petronius Arbiter - but they were all so clever that they were studied at school in the first place, even despite being rude. Niki wanted to be in trouble for some nasty, but simple stuff. Finally, I found a Martial’s epigram, which, with the expletives edited back in, was perfect for enraging the Latin master.
It went like this:
Rumor says, girl, that you are a virgin;
that nothing is purer than your pussy.
But, you don’t bathe covering what you ought to:
if you have any decency, put your knickers on your face.
I wrote it out in my best hand, so that Niki could read it, and she practiced reciting it for a good half an hour the night before the shoot.
I thought, the scene where she had to read the whole thing out to Mr. Lewis was electric. I wasn’t there when they shot it, alas: I was elsewhere in the house, shooting stills. But it’s a cracking scene; she cried real tears, poor thing, though they hardly show on video.
It has turned out in a discussion on the site that one of the guys there used to teach Latin. I can’t tell you how thrilling it was that there was somebody who could appreciate our pre-shoot homework.
2. Complications. It didn’t need to be like this, but during the shoot we suffered extraordinary bad luck. Niki was whacking me on the bare with a leather paddle, quite hard, but not as hard as I’ve been hit before, and we were almost finished, when suddenly she yelled - “Cut! I drew blood!” Lucy the Director raced up with desinfectants, while I tried to figure out what the hell had just happened. I couldn’t feel any particular pain where the cut was - and anyway, who draws blood with a piece of leather? It was the tiniest graze. Still, Lucy, the sensible person that she is, declared that my butt could do with taking the rest of the day off. There was a vid to finish, and another one to shoot - and don’t forget the stills! - but I was getting taken out of circulation.
I admit, I cried like a spurned lover. It was really embarrassing, and I wish I’d kept my cool, but a spanking shoot is like surfing on pure emotions, and it’s hard to switch them off when the cameras stop and it’s time to take serious decisions. All I knew was that I didn’t want to be left out of the rest of the day’s fun: I was invested in those scenarios, and it would hurt like hell to see them sail along without me. Selfish, but true.
Thankfully, it was time to break for lunch, anyway, so the crew sensitively left me and Niki to comfort each other, and eventually I pulled myself together enough to convince Lucy that a teeny little graze wasn’t a good enough reason to stop. After all, they could always cane my thighs.
Obviously, none of this remains in the film, and that’s why having a spank-and-tell fest on the blog is giving me so much pleasure.
I’d given some thought to whether to post this part at all. Obviously, it’s not a production secret or anything: stuff happens, stuff gets gossiped about, stuff gets forgotten with all the rest. This occassion wasn’t even close to any real drama for anybody but me (and maybe Niki). Still, it helps illustrate how one little spanking vid can be so personal for a model, while being objectively no more intense than anything that’s out in the same week.
3. Sacrifices. After the enormously long hand-spanking she gave me, both of Niki’s palms were black-and-blue, as though dipped in ink. I’ve never seen anything like it, even after a heavy hand-tawsing session.
Also, the out-takes are hilarious, but they won’t be up on NSI until their new design goes live, so I’ll say no more about them.
Poetic fanmail
Niki Flynn has kindly shared with me this message, sent to her by a fan. At least, we think he’s a fan. He might have meant it in a disapproving way, and we have only these words to go by.
pain
i spank u hard
I didn’t know e.e.cummings watched spanking videos…
Sugasm 33
This week’s Sugasm is here!
NSFW Pics
There Are Some Things Out There… (pornster.blogspot.com)
Angelique and Ivonne on Sapphic Erotica (simply-sapphicerotica.com)
Lea in Lacey Blue by Abby Winters (iloveabbywinters.com)
Two Galleries of Rookie Babe Hottie Mia (sensualarousalblog.com)
A Red-headed Peach (internetisforporn.com)
HNT: Two for the Price of One (seanandmel.blogspot.com)
Abby Winters: Diana and Fuji (ethnorotica.com)
Exclusive - Justine Joli, Panties (tgp.com)
Funny
No Matter Who They Are… (janeluvsdick.com)
Conversation with the Lead Burly Dude (alwaysarousedgirl.blogspot.com)
Thoughts on Sex
Festering Degenerates (theholidaylife.blogspot.com)
Can Someone Be Cheerful and Sexy at the Same Time? (seska4lovers.com)
A Typical Spanking Model? (adelehaze.com)
Actions and Reactions (aliferestarted.blogspot.com)
A Solo Career (gentlebutfirm.blogspot.com)
Not What It Appears To Be (damnjezebel.com)
Hair (gentlygently.blogspot.com)
I Just Wanna Make Love To You - or, American Closet Mystics (Re)Unite! (totalsensuality.blogspot.com)
A Sticky Situation (wanklog.blogspot.com)
Diddling for Dollars (herknees.com)
