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Bent in Half
This is from my first bondage photoset, “Girl in the Garage” (which is gradually going up on Northern Spanking). OK, it’s not really bondage; it’s a spanking photoset with my wrists and ankles tied together. The rope was very rough and prickly, and I liked being aware of its presence.
A Punishment Note Robot?
A reader has written to me a propos the Lines Generator, and reminded me about this site that existed ages ago. It would generate letters to parents/guardians/responsible disciplinarians, listing the culprit’s random infractions and suggesting a punishment.
I vaguely remember playing with it, and nearly getting into very real trouble for neglecting my homework in the meantime.
Does anybody have any idea what the site was, and whether it still exists? My correspondent and I are both wildly curious.
Pirating Porn
Last week the porn guru Sam Sugar posted a curious article on why porn DVDs didn’t sell any more, and how it was pretty stupid to sue folks who downloaded porn off file-sharing systems. He speaks of the vanilla porn industry, of which spanking porn is highly marginal niche, but what he says is still relevant, mutatis mutandis.
My favourite paragraph was this:
People who steal content are those who don’t have any money (like kids) and those who don’t think a product’s worth paying for. In both cases, stopping piracy, even if possible, wouldn’t result in any sales gain. The poor can’t buy, the indifferent refuse to.
Yep, quite. To the poor, add just about the entire population of the former USSR, who still haven’t figure out what a credit card is, and how to use one online.
Another category (and a rather large one it is) is British spankos who want to watch foreign DVDs. Many people who tried, for example, to order DVDs from Lupus have had their packages seized by HM Customs, and even had the Customs people knocking on the door. Plenty of people would buy legal copies - both for the selfish reasons of quality and with the altruistic (though ultimately still selfish) purpose of keeping the production company in business, but there simply isn’t a way to get your hands on them.
My point - if there is a point - is that if you live in the UK and want foreign material, legitimate spanking pay-sites are the future. As all the other porn sites, they require caution, but the genre is small enough that usually you can find out, word of mouth, what’s worth your money and which way lies the rip-off.
Kinky Covers on Vanilla DVDs
Although this DVD is of the musical, non-kinky variety, I like the cover designer’s line of thinking.
Thanks to my reader Doogster for sending the picture and the link.
Essential Modelling Skills
There is a skill that every British spanking model must possess - and which isn’t necessarily as important for models in other countries. (Although non-models certainly use it a lot, as did I in my pre-modelling days.)
I’m talking about being able to tie a school tie. (The cute cross-over ribbons that American girls wear really don’t count.)
I don’t think that’s any model in the UK can get away with never making a schoolgirl video. Other costumes are a matter of taste - say, I really dislike the ever popular “naughty nurse” scenario, so I won’t be making any nurse videos. I don’t think it limits my employability by much. Not, in any case, as much as my reluctance to shoot nude does.
School uniforms? You’re not going anywhere without them. I’m so glad that school scenes are my fondest fantasy; otherwise, I’d probably get bored stiff at every single shoot. As it is, I have a chance to bore the crew by showing off all my uniforms.
I was chatting to my American friend on IM the other day; she was due to meet up with her British spanking friend, and had discovered that since their previous meeting she had forgotten how to tie a tie. I fetched my own tie - my favourite one, blue-and-cobalt, - wound it about my neck, and typed up step-by-step instructions for her. I wasn’t sure it would worked, but she picked it up at once - or her fingers did; maybe the tie-tying skill is one of these things you can’t unlearn. It was a great conversation. I felt like a schoolgirl saving her classmate from an inevitable smacking from the housemaster. I only hope the girl practises from now on, so that our IM labours are not lost.
This made me remember my first professional party. I was so nervous that my tie just wouldn’t tie properly: the skinny end kept coming out longer than the wide end. It was so annoying! I’d been wearing ties for years beforehand, but no, it just wouldn’t go where it was supposed to. One of the other girls saw my struggles and, without batting an eyelid, deftly tucked the skinny end of the tie between the buttons of my school shirt and into my bra. Hey presto, an instant tie make-over.
A Line-Writing Script
In the midst of comments, Lucy McLean has posted a link to something rather wonderful: a script that will write your punishment lines for you.
I have tried it out here. You can have a go, too.
Can you just imagine a spanking I’d get if I showed up with a sheet of lines typed by a machine? Mmm! Something to try if I ever feel like being thrashed into the next week, I think. :)
Mind you, I love writing lines. The process of forming letters is very pleasurable for me. You know how some odd people actually enjoy being spanked? (Just imagine!) Well, I’m like that with lines. They make me hot.
Fresh Birch
It took me a moment to remember what the marks on this picture were, but then I recalled a spring birch-harvesting expedition with Mr. Haze, and it all clicked back into place.
Work and Fetish
This was found on The Dilbert Blog a few days ago:
If you’re the owner of a women’s shoe store, and you want to hire someone that will work for cheap and still love his job, you want a guy with a major foot fetish. That guy will never call in sick. He might need to take frequent breaks during the day, but it’s a small price to pay for such motivation. The foot fetish guy will always work for less pay than the guy who’s thinking “Eww, I have to touch feet all day.” Over time, the free market system would drive out all the non-foot-fetish guys.
Technically, I think it’s shoe fetishists he’s looking for, because foot fetishists would be too busy doing pedicures in beauty parlours. But I’m entirely in favour of people enjoying what they do at work.
That’s like people who like spanking going out and becoming, oh, I don’t know, spanking models?
Whacked
There will be no deep and meaningful post today, munchkins, because my husband has just given me about a million strokes of the cane, and I’m too whacked to write anything more than “Ow! My bum! It’s falling right off!”
(OK, it was more like fifteen strokes, but they really hurt. Really.)
A BDSM film… again?
Apparently, munchkins, people who make movies with budgets and cinema releases and actual trained actors and all that, are making another kinky movie, called “The Pet”. Oh, please, no. Please. It will end in tears, and not the nice sort of tears that one cries after being hit with a cane 50 times, either.
Yes, I really am that pessimistic about the prospects of getting a good kink-friendly film any time soon, even if the film-makers wanted to be kink-friendly. Because, you know, mainstream plots require conflict and complex characters, and complex characters are going to be screwed up in one way or another. Screwed up kinky characters do not a kink-friendly movie make, just ask Lee Holloway.
Problem is, overall wholesome characters do not a movie make *at all*.
I like what Mistress Matisse (on whose blog I’ve found the link) has to say about what is known about “The Pet” for now:
I mean, a global sex-slave market that runs around kidnapping kinky women from rich guys? Please. Such an organization would have to beat off applicants with a stick, pun intended. If there weren’t tons of people who liked the idea of giving up control to a strict and repressive overlord, we wouldn’t have the current presidential administration.
Okay, that’s a joke, sort of. But really, the trick for such an organization would be finding appropriately wealthy owners with the pictured lavish estates and tons of free time. Cute little muffins who’d want to be slaves to such people are a dime a dozen.
All of this doesn’t mean that I won’t watch the news about this film with a lot of interest, or that I won’t go and see it. Of course I will. I’m that sort of a masochist.
