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The Elusive Spanking Art
Yesterday, in the comments to this post, I suggested that D. Brian Nelson of Hotel Room Nudes should have a subsidiary blog to deal with spanking erotica. To my astonishment, he listened.
He created “Hotel Room Spankings” just for one day. It had one post: a picture of two girls at spanking play, and an explanation of why creating spanking art was such hard work. With his permission, I’m reposting it here:
That picture is the only real spanking picture I have, though I’d love to do more. I am primarily a photographer and only secondarily (or even farther down the list) a spankophile.
Photographically, the problems are to show motion, and to show faces. Faces are necessary for a photograph to be sexual. An identity - a person - must be there, not only a body. Putting butts and faces in the same photograph in a way that’s not too strained is difficult and making each photograph different would be almost impossible, so I haven’t pursued it. That said, I have made some D/s pictures that implied varying amounts of control and humiliation, though having been there I know that seldom are those things real.
Whipped on the Back
Never. Again. I don’t get even a remotest thrill out of having my back whipped (or, as in this case, birched). Nor do I think that a reddenned back looks particularly nice. But I had to try it, just in case I liked it.
P.S. Soft velvet or horsehair floggers don’t count: I’ll submit my shoulders to those any time, particularly if the handle happens to be in a girl’s hand. As soon as it starts to hurt, though, I’m out.
I Dream a Spanking Shoot
In my dream last night I shared a shoot with a girl who was completely new to modelling and spanking, and terrified beyond words. The handsome, harsh photographer got as far as making her bend over the male model’s lap, but the new girl put back her hands, clutched the hem of her skirt, and wouldn’t let the skirt be raised and her bottom be smacked - not even for the slap-and-pat game that is a stills shoot.
I woke up too early to find out where this was going, though the photographer seemed to think it was my fault the other girl wasn’t fit to shoot, and was threatening me with a caning if I didn’t sort her out.
Threatening me with no caning might have been a better strategy, but I didn’t stay asleep for long enough to tell him that.
When You See a Model at a Spanking Party
These last few days were the weekend of the bi-annual Shadow Lane spanking party in Las Vegas. It’s an excellent play event (or so I hear - I haven’t been yet); the industry folks go to sell their products and network, and yes, they go to play, too.
If you see a spanking model at Shadow Lane, it’s a fairly safe bet that’s she’s a spanko: with a healthy entrance fee, this is not the sort of party a girl would go to if she wasn’t keen to hang out with fellow kinky people.
However, as a few of my spies have reported, not all the people at the party have a basic understanding of what you *do* when you spot a girl who starred in some of your favourite spanking videos.
So, here’s a question. When you see a spanking model at a play event you:
a) swoon;
b) approach her and tell her how much you like her work;
c) approach her and touch her (after all, personal space is overrated);
b) tell her she deserves a spanking - from you; if she says no, follow her around, asking again as soon as she stops at a stall or to chat with friends.
Hmm, which to choose, what to do…
Over the pillows, waiting.
This picture is from a blog that’s a guilty pleasure of mine, called Hotel Room Nudes.
I suspect that the photographer had a different, altogether more vanilla purpose in mind while making her bend over the pillows, but even so, when I saw this I automatically thought: “Aha, the spanker must be left-handed.”It would be a shame, after all, to waste such a perfectly positioned bottom.
A Perfect Porn Domain Name
OK, how about this - a foot-in-mouth list of domain names registered by people who are either too innocent or too stupid to run websites. (I nicked the list in its entirety from Sir Rodney’s Porn Review Blog)
1. Who Represents, a database for celebrity agents:
www.whorepresents.com
2. Experts Exchange, a programmers knowledge base:
www.expertsexchange.com
3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at:
www.penisland.net
4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at:
www.therapistfinder.com
5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator Company:
www.powergenitalia.com
6. The Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:
www.molestationnursery.com
7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always:
www.ipanywhere.com
8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church :
www.cummingfirst.com
9. Then there are some brainless art designers and their wacky web site:
www.speedofart.com
10. Want to visit Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure web site at:
www.gotahoe.com
Gimme Free Porn, NOW
I’m going through the blog mail I’ve had while away, and because I’m just this nice, I’ll share the best piece with you.
(In fact, this is probably the best piece of blog mail ever.)
I’ve kept everything as it appeared on screen, changing only the name of the sender.
DEAR SIR
I would like download one free spank movie.
Could you help me?
your prompt reply will be appreciated.
best regardsInternet Idiot.
Frankly, if he wanted to get into my Internet Idiots Hall of Fame, the first line alone would have been enough.
Famous at Last (Maybe)
Here’s a funny thing: I’m pretty sure I was recognised at one point of my holiday. A friend took us to this bird-watching hut, where the bird guy looked at me as though my visage had been on a “Wanted” poster at the local post-office.
“You’ve come here before,” he said.
“Nope,” I said innocently. I hadn’t been to a bird-watching hut in my life - this or any other.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
As though I could forget this oddball construction, so flimsy that the wind could sweep it away to Oz any second - but with tons of top-of-the-range photographic equipment inside. I was very sure.
So he showed us some birds, and some seals, and some rocks that may or may not have been seals. All the while, the guy stared at me in this surreptitious “oh, I’m not looking at you at all” way. And as we were leaving, he said: “I’m sure you’ve been here before. I remember you.”
It didn’t even occur to me until later that the guy may have recognised me, but hey, that’s Scotland. All the Scottish pervs subscribe to Northern Spanking. (Apart from the ones too tight to pay for their porn, which is quite a few, I suppose.) I don’t know. He made me wonder, that’s for sure.
Back to Galley Slavery
I’m back from my exile to the middle of nowhere, munchkins. The middle of nowhere is glorious, particularly the Highlands. A fair amount of spanking happened, all of it for pleasure. (I thought for a while I should have arranged a shoot or a party for when I was away, but then I’d have had to preserve the pristine condition of my derriere beforehand, and that wouldn’t do. It just wouldn’t.)
Some pictures are to follow in due course, when we’ve all rested after the pictorial assault of my holiday gallery.
Of course we took pictures. Not as many as at a proper spanking shoot, but I never let pretty marks go unphotographed.
I’ve also watched about a million spanking movies while away. It’s still a while before the start of the next term, so I’ll be writing some reviews. Most of the stuff I watched was from Punished Brats (because they’re nice and send me free movies), but there were also a couple of Spanking Epics, and a couple of Lupus things I haven’t seen before (including Stalin 3… intense!)
Holiday Spanking Photo Display - 9
There was this cane flying around the room once… It seemed to collide with my bare behind all the time.
(I’m still on holiday, but should be back early next week, if everything goes as planned.)
