The New Jane Eyre

I am slightly cross with the new BBC adaptation of Jane Eyre, which they started showing yesterday.

What, no birching? Not even a pretend one? There aren’t that many instances of schoolgirls being whipped in classical literature (though boys get it all the time) – must we get rid of one such scene?

They spent way too little time in the aweful Lowewood Institution, eager, I suppose, to introduce Mr. Rochester. Though to be fair, what time they did devote to it, was perfectly, squirmily horrid. The girls’ uniforms were horrific in just the way I love, and the scene where Jane had to stand on on a chair with a sign saying “Liar” on her chest was beautifully shot: a river of girls flowing past her along the hall, parting around the chair and merging again, not one of them meeting her eye.

Once Jane grew up, everything was instantly better: I like both main actors a great deal, and Mr. Rochester looks like he could administer exactly the sort of stern discipline that the second part of the book is missing. His charge Adele (from whom, you might remeber, I got my name) is perfectly obnoxious, and very much in need of that discipline. And nobody is prettier than they are supposed to be if you believe the descriptions in the book.

Still… no birching? Damn!

A Knicker Check

I’m wearing crisp schoolgirl knickers, a cotton undershirt and knee socks. All sparkly white. And no, there’s no reason: I just feel like a schoolgirl today.

Sugasm – 47

The best of the sex blogs this week by the bloggers who blog them. Featuring the top 3 posts voted by Sugasmer participants. And look who’s got picked for editors’ choice this week! *gloat*

This Week’s Picks
Lazy Sunday (http://www.chillivanilla.com)
“I flick my thumb across your clit, as if I were lighting a match, which, in many ways I am.”

The Secret (http://confessions112.blogspot.com)
“I came back to the bed and started to lavish kisses on him, savoring the inches of skin on him that I knew were mine and mine alone.”

You’re all I want (http://theholidaylife.blogspot.com)
“Go to the couch. Bend over. For me.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
How to Cure Female Ejaculation (http://sugarbank.com)

Editors’ Choice
Fetish, Fashion and The War On Terror (http://adelehaze.com)

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

Dominatrix Shoe

Can I have one of these? (Just the one, thanks; it’s not like you could wear it…)

It’s a Naked Lady Shoe by Rodolfo Ayaro, 1978, shamelessly scanned in from the last Observer.

Film Censors Don’t Mind Real Sex. How About Spanking?

TheLondonPaper reported yesterday that British Board of Film Classification has given the movie Shortbus an 18 certificate. Why is that newsworthy? Because the film has scenes of real (that is, unsimulated) sex between two or more people at a time, including gay and lesbian sex, plus scenes of self-fellatio – and an 18 certificate means it’s now legal to show it in the cinema. (In case you don’t know: normal porn, if rated at all, gets rated R18, which means it can get sold in sex shops, and that’s it.)

The movie is, apparently, about the “why modern city folk have such difficulty opening up emotionally”. Obviously, you have to shag a lot to find an answer to that.

So, what does a spanking film have to do to get an 18 certificate, do we think? It has to have a moral conundrum at the centre, I suppose, such as, oh, “why modern city folk have such difficulty opening up emotionally”, except instead of Olympic shagging sessions the main characters (investment bankers or interior designers, all of them) get to dress up as schoolkids and French maids, and bend over for the cane. If people keep their pants on, there’ll be no visible marks, so the censors won’t get too upset.

Seriously, it’s hard to remain emotionally closed up when you’ve just had a good hard walloping.

The best part? (Or rather, the part that the censors will love?) There needn’t be any real sex. Just the caning, and maybe some spanking, and maybe a few rounds with a belt for variety. A few whacks with the tawse, maybe, and some paddling to finish. But no sex. It ought to be easier to rate a movie without any sex than a movie with ten different types of it?