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Dreaming of the Queen
I had the oddest, freakiest dream last night. I was a boy of about 14, formally assigned to some sort of military unit that provides personal security to a queen while she’s travelling, but actually my duties are to serve as the queen’s footman. (That is, I do a footman’s job, and obey her orders rather than my immediate superior’s, but I still wear my uniform.)
Suddenly my superior, who is also travelling with us, decides that he doesn’t like me very much, and says that as the queen likes me so much, I should just become her civilian servant instead. But I can’t be let out of my military contract just like that: I have another 10 years written into it.
So instead I should be court-martialled right here and sentensed to death, after which the queen can formally pardon me, which will just get me a flogging. After that she can take me on as a footman if she wants to.
Best of all: I’m fairly sure I was a closet transvestite, which the queen could tell, and tacitly encouraged by dressing me up in her lady-in-waiting’s clothes.
Monster prison strap
So, my husband sends me this picture, with a caption: “What’s it worth not to send this photo on to Lupus?…”
I think, the only rational response is, you don’t suggest any such implement to any company I’m ever likely to work with, and in return I won’t stick you with a fork. Somewhere it would hurt.
Sounds like a fair trade to me, no?
(Pic from “All Things Spanking”)
Dial-a-porno
You didn’t know you could get a porn story on a library dial-a-story line, did you?
Well, I guess you can’t unless you’re really lucky, but stuff happens…
Police in the suburbs east of San Francisco are investigating how an X-rated recording detailing a dog and a pig’s intimate relationship ended up on a public library’s dial-a-story service.The Benicia Public Library’s story line typically features children’s fairy tales like “The Three Bears.”
But [a woman] said she and her 6-year-old daughter instead heard a pornographic, profanity-laced description of the relationship between the two animals.
OK, a dog and a pig? Not sexy. But on the whole, it looks like some hacker has had a lot of fun…
(Thanks for showing this to me, Mr Haze ;) )
A latex feast
The name of this song is “Cry for you”, and that’s kinky enough for a start.
But check out the outfits in this! Looks like they’ve robbed a latex factory…
