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Poison Ivy Bondage
The latest edition of xkcd has made me giggle, in a sympathetic sort of way:
Dude. Next time? Pack rope.
(Marks the time until the first comment appears singing praises to the feeling of poison ivy on one’s butt.)
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14 Responses to “Poison Ivy Bondage”
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Tried it - didn’t like it. Nor the shot I had to take at the doctors’ office to get rid of it. I was in my late teens and THANK GOD no one ever found out.
Dangerous stuff. Don’t play with any poisonous plant or poison oak. You don’t know how someone will react. A friend was clearing his yard from it: safety gloves, the whole kit. He went for a pee and some of the plant oil must have got on to his jeans fly… Fill in the blank! He ended up in the hospital seriously ill. Not the hard-on he liked.
When I’m in the moutains, at the back of our house, the rattlesnakes, mountain lions and coyotes don’t really worry me, but those and a few other plants do.
R
Damn! I thought the “Virginia Creeper” was a marijuana strain when I first looked at the drawing. I’m lucky enough to be immune to poison ivy toxins. The nasty rashes of the people around me not so fortunate proves poison ivy is no sex toy.
Parthenocissus Cinquefolia (as in FIVE leaves) vs. Toxicodendron Radicans (which is a vine and has THREE-fold leaves). Hmmm… Our comic strip bondo was clearly never a boy scout or he’d have had a torch (there are snakes around too) and been able to tell the difference.
Been there, done that with poison ivy as a kid - it’s just about the worst plant in the world - even worse than stinging nettles. I would rub nettles on my eyeballs rather than experience poison ivy again.
You want to see a poisonous plants for idiots, try Ruta graveolins (common rue). Sap on skin + sunlight = skin that looks the same as someone that didn’t get away from Chernobyl fast enough, yet this stuff is still sold as an ornamental plant in garden centers. It is known to be poisonous to the point that it can cause pregnant women to miscarriage but morons still write recipes with this stuff in it. Over 80% of the worlds population are allergic to this stuff but it is still used in alternative medicines. Why go grubbing around in the woods for your poisonous plants when you can get them from “Happy Jo’s Gardens” down the road and buy a recipe book on how to ingest your favorite pain plant while your there.
Ah! that was a bit of a plant rant, wasn’t it, er sorry.
Prefectdt
Always good to fill your experts list with kinkos! Thanks for the tip, Prefect. I’ll definitely steer clear of that one. I always wanted a poison garden with deadly nightshade and belladonna and mandrake root - all those great witchy plants. But they don’t look as impressive as they sound.
(Once again) “We have found a wiitch, may we burn her?…”
Tigerbutt - When I was younger I was also immune, until I discovered I wasn’t any longer. Not a happy day. But not as unhappy as it was for a friend of mine, who managed to get a miniscule smear of the oil on his arm. A week later he was receiving the same treatments as third-degree burn victims.
Oh, go ahead and burn all the witches you want, but for the love of gawd don’t burn the poison ivy! It’s unimaginable what the smoke will do to your lungs.
Ivar - Your advisement is well received. I won’t be rolling in poison ivy if I see it, and will not use it to burn witches!
There are far more effective ways to deal with witches than by burning them.
Is that you lowering the stakes again, Niki?
;)
What method might that be, Niki?
It’s well known that witches cannot eat chocolate, for a start. Or banoffee pie. And they REALLY hate having their feet massaged.
Ah-ha! So thats what they hate! Cardinal Fang!, show her the implements…