The state of F/M porn

If you want good porn, shoot your own. This is my conclusion after a couple of weeks of hopeful browsing of F/M BDSM sites.

Is it only my uneducated impression, or does most of the F/M visual content out there really, really suck? Perhaps, the good stuff is out there, and I’m just not finding it?

Here’s what I dislike about the stuff I’ve seen. For the most part, the men are faceless and invisible, no more than props to show off the fetishised power of the female dominants. These pose and strut, whips at the ready. I don’t dare say there’s nothing sexy about their heels and catsuits, but whatever sexuality there is, is focused entirely at the camera. I don’t see chemistry between the players, I don’t see passion, or even play-acted attraction. The kinky electricity flows not between the players, but directly from the domme at the camera: at the supposedly enthralled male gaze.

As a female viewer, I feel irrelevant. This isn’t surprising, because most porn is made for men. Even so, when I watch X/F porn, I can get a lot of pleasure out of it just by empathising with the girl on the reveiving end. Perhaps, this is the key to my dismay: when I look at spanking/BDSM porn, I want to empathise with the submissive. It’s all about the submissive for me, male or female. In the F/M porn, instead, the gaze follows not the submissive – the object of empathy, but the woman – the object of lust.

Now, being bisexual with a strong preference for women, I ought to be drawn to the dommes in F/M, the same way I’m attracted to the women in X/F videos. And yet, they leave me cold. This is, perhaps, because I look at the F/M stuff from the point of view of a female dominant, and so another female dominant under the circumstances is a like charge, gently repelling. Or maybe it’s because I just haven’t found the sort of dommes that I’m attracted to.

I wonder: this porn, shot entirely for the male gaze – does it work for its intended audience? Is it satisfying? Or maybe it works only up to a point? If you’re a male submissive, I’d love to know how it’s working for you.

Also, am I maybe missing some great F/M content? If there’s something that works for you, I’d like to know abot it, in case it works for me as well.

Brandon Flowers in bondage

This new solo music video from the lead singer of the Killers is simply delicious. Brandon Flowers spends the entire thing tied up and having to be rescued by an awesome girl with a sword. Note new bruises being added every once in a while, and his clothes growing ever more tattered.

Do you know what I love about this? The pathetic little smile he gives her every time she saves his ass.

Also, I think that after the third consecutive rescue she may want to give him a good paddling, to teach him to stay out of trouble in the future.