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A3 LicListBegging, pleading
Fantasies — By Adele on 3 August, 2010 10:27 pm“Oh, please, don’t!”
“Please, don’t stop…”
Two different poles of begging, and another point where I find a difference in my headspaces when I bottom and top.
As a bottom, I prefer to beg “no”. To plead to stop, to shout and scream and beg to be spared. When planning shoots, I’ve always asked for non-consensual scenarios, so that I could show my unwillingness.
Playmates have suggested that I must feel guilty for being kinky, and therefore want to pretend I’m not into it, but that’s not it. It just makes me hot to pretend to be unwilling. I’ll happily disect the scene afterwards, conveying openly my pleasure at what’s transpired, but at the time I’ve always preferred to hate it.
As a top… turns out I like to be begged “yes”. I like it that the treatment I dispence is seen as a pleasure and a reward, no matter how painful and cruel it may be. It warms me to hear “don’t stop” from Jimmy’s lips, and to know that I just might – or maybe that I won’t, but make him wonder if I will.
Again, why? Insecurities speaking, maybe? (Note to self: write about insecurities.) I don’t know. It’s just… Hot, that’s what it is.
I do enjoy being begged to stop, as well, but that comes as no surprise, just a kink complementary to my bottom side. The other one, I’ll just keep exploring.
Tags: begging, switching
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6 Comments
I much prefer to indulge in (hard) spankings where it is natural and even expected that I will beg for mercy and equally expected that none will be given. I find this quite simply results from the fact that I *am* going beg and plead no matter what. These sorts of spankings hurt (lighter/playful ones are a whole other matter) and I’m truthfully a but of a whimp in the moment. A minute or two after it’s ended, I have no trouble asking for more :)
I think one other reason I feel more comfortable begging for a spanking to stop rather than continue is that I do feel a bit greedy. I LOVE being spanked, often fairly hard (so I’m told, I maintain that I’m a whimp). I also have no desire to switch and truly cannot wrap mypp head around what’s so great about spanking someone. So by taking the role of begging for a spanking to end, I can relax knowing the spanker will stop when they want to and not continue just because I asked them to even if they feel done. Logically I know this is pretty stupid, but we can’t always be logical :)
When I first started playing with D he took great pleasure in teaching me to beg “yes”. I couldn’t do it at first – too self-conscious and embarrassed – and I’d never really done it. Doing it for him as a D/s act made it possible, and over the years I’ve become a lot more comfortable with expressing my desires in that way. I’ve actually found that being familiar and comfortable with that sort of explicit consent, as well as with played non-consent, has improved my sex life no end. And – well – are there any Doms that would particularly mind? ;)
Pandora – Thing is, there really are doms who mind. I think my reluctance to beg “yes” myself stems from the fact that as a young player, I was trained by somebody who absolutely couldn’t stand any hint of pleasure on my part. It took some years to get rid of that conditioning.
Adele – *nods* That makes sense regarding the conditioning. I’m blinking a bit at the idea of a dom who doesn’t want *any* pleasure from their sub, even outside roleplay, but I guess there are people whose sexuality exists wholly in fantasy. I enjoy vanilla sex and pleasure but I need to remember that not every pervert does…
That’s a very interesting topic, Adele. For me, begging Ludwig to stop would spoil the whole scene with a chance of at least 95 per cent. For me it might be sexy only in very few scenarios. I love either consensual scenarios or scenarios where I proudly and silently submit to a spanking, not giving the spanker even more satisfaction by protesting against an unfair treatment. And I have to admit that strong begging also usually turns me off when watching a scene with a male bottom from a top’s point of view. I can’t deny my crush on silent and proud warriors. Talking back to the spanker, pretending to be innocent, discussing about the necessity of a spanking, that’s all perfectly okay. But begging usually doesn’t really work for me.
Begging to go on is something completely different, though. I sometimes do that without much thinking, although usually not in the context of a spanking, but in the context of other BDSM-related activities. And I think in an intimate scene I might find it hot from a top’s perspective as well.
Adele: this is, of course, the paradox of our kink – that one of the participants craves what, at least for most people, should be a very unpleasant experience for him or her. And many of us who love to be spanked put a lot of effort into pretending that we don’t – even to ourselves. In my head, whether actually across someone’s knee or just fantasising, it’s always non-consensual (or let’s say reluctantly consensual) on my part. That’s just what works for me.
But if I were to be spanking a woman – not that I ever do! – I’d get no pleasure from it unless I thought that she was enjoying herself.
When I’m on the receiving end, I don’t beg or plead either way. I’m a super-stoical spankee :). And (maybe for the same reason) I find vocal histrionics on video a turn-off – too often they seem to add a sheen of severity to what’s obviously very light ‘punishment’.