Comments on: Careers a Spanko Ought Not Choose

By: Kris

Kris — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 03:39:18 +0000

Oh no. I didn’t mean I’m not out as kinky at work. (I’m not btw.) I *meant* that one of my coworkers was trying to out me as *queer*. Granted, my sexuality at work isn’t a secret, I just choose not to mention my partner to certain coworkers. It’s just frustrating. Sorry for the confusing comment. It’s been a long week.

Kris

By: Adele

Adele — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 09:38:47 +0000

Kris – I hadn’t even thought about the complications that would arise in a teacher’s carreer if the students found out about their kinky life. Dealing with the bosses is hard enough. *shudders* I don’t think not living openly is shameful: sure, it’s nice to be the sainted martyr of the Kinkdom, suffer for your ideals and the like, but venturing outside your comfort zone before you’ve calculated the risks, planned your strategy, and are sure you can cope with – it just wouldn’t be wise.

Robert – Actually, I have this secret hope that the more people are discovered to have kinky sexual lives, the less outrage it will provoke in the future. That said, I’d rather they were not “discovered” in the sense of being outed, but rather came out comfortably and openly. Which is not going to happen. But one could hope…

Amber – Well done for guarding your secrets so well. It seems like your friend is interested enough in the kinky goings on to keep mentioning them – perhaps you can just tease him back about that.

Wintermute – It’s a good point about being blackmailed. I have every sympathy with people who don’t wish their kinkiness to influence their career options, but choosing a career that is not blackmail-prone just ultimately saves a lot of headache.

By: Wintermute

Wintermute — Sat, 11 Nov 2006 03:49:58 +0000

Perhaps it’s true that people who are kinky should not choose a life in the
public eye. But I think that we all think of our professional lives and
personal lives as separate. So I do have sympathy for people who want
to choose a career that appeals to them, regardless of whether they are
kinky. In a better world we would not have to worry about this.

I think that you would never want to have a secret that someone could
blackmail you for. My wife knows everything about my sexuality and what
I do on-line. I’d rather not have my sexual life directly associated with my
professional life, but if I had to, I could live with it.

Wintermute

By: Amber

Amber — Fri, 10 Nov 2006 14:24:37 +0000

I thought I’d add that my husband is a highschool teacher (at a private school), and I used to be as well, and the whole family is highly conservative Catholics, so no, we wouldn’t ever want this to surface in anyway, nor would I want my children to know when they are old enough to understand (which means cutting down on the action significantly), although it’s not going to be an ultimate disaster since it’s happening in the context of marriage and not in any way outside it. In my whole history the only person who wasn’t my boyfriends that found out was a college friend who overlooked me looking at kinky stuff online and has teased me back in college when I was reading Nietzsche (you know the quote, my husband likes to repeat it too – going to see a woman? bring your whip!) Ironically, that friend with whom I went to school overseas happend to live only two hours away from me where I live now, and we keep in touch and get together quite a bit, so he has teased me on couple more ocasions about being kinky, but I am fine with it.

By: iwasrobert

iwasrobert — Fri, 10 Nov 2006 08:31:04 +0000

It’s sad that society is not as open-minded as we would like. There is an increasing trend toward perrmissiveness of “ordinary” heterosexual sexuality (heterosexuality?), but at the same time an increasingly vocal societal phobia toward kinky sex. There used to be a certain amount of “don’t ask, don’t tell” but the collective societal paradox is becoming too much for many.

Part of this is, I think, to do with the increasing numbers of people in positions of trust who are being outed by the media, although I not necessarily for being spankos. The whole men (it’s usually men) behaving badly thing makes good news but is bad press for anybody who is different, because they are tarred with the same simplistic brush: if you’re not like us, you must be like them.

By: Kris

Kris — Fri, 10 Nov 2006 00:48:44 +0000

I am a teacher! Where I work (at an unnamed, progressive non-profit) my private life would not cause me to be fired should it surface; however, said circumstances would make it IMPOSSIBLE to control my class. It’s a delicate situation, but I have little fear of being exposed as kinky. I am convinced, though, that last week a coworker was trying to out me. I’ll be the first to admit that it’s shameful (to me) to not be completely out at work considering all of the work I did/do in the GLBT community, but there you have it.

Kris

By: Adele

Adele — Thu, 09 Nov 2006 23:33:17 +0000

Amber – Your guy sounds far too wise to even want to be a president :)

Eayore – I’m sure the MPs have an awesome time, until they get exposed in the News of the World ;)

Erica – Your job sounds perfect for the lifestyle. Good for you to arrange your life to fit with your kink, not the other way around. (I take it, if you were a super-hero, your super-power would be Grammar of Doom? ;) )

Michael David – Hmm, the biker connection is an interesting one. Arguably, it’s harder to cover up than the spanking kink… The question is, though: who would want to cover up their kink all their life?

By: michaeldavid

michaeldavid — Thu, 09 Nov 2006 22:23:12 +0000

Yes indeed, I know a woman who is an avid spankee and she is working on a degree and has hopes of working in politics. She could be in for a shock. A female lawyer friend of mine, not into spanking but was turned down for a judgeship on account of her much earlier biker connections. It can be a slippery slope.

By: Erica

Erica — Thu, 09 Nov 2006 22:15:49 +0000

You make very good points, Adele. It seems like certain careers were made to derail one’s kinky lifestyle. Besides politics and teaching, I would think anyone in any sort of religious field is at huge risk.

I am a freelance proofreader/copyeditor. I work from home, so I have no boss and I answer to no one, and my work is low-key and low profile. So far, I haven’t had any problems.

And it’s SO much fun teasing tops when they use poor grammar/spelling. :-D — Erica

By: Eayore

Eayore — Thu, 09 Nov 2006 22:05:48 +0000

Yes, I was young once, I think.

I always thought spanko MPs enjoyed the thrill of a double life.