What the Net dragged in – 19

I found a few fun keywords when I looked into my stats just now. Fewer than I used to see a couple of years ago, but still…

spanked with a dick – I’m sorry, your kink is OK and all, but I just don’t think that such a spanking would hurt very much. It might hurt the owner of the dick, though.

бритиш спанкинг – that says “British Spanking” in Cyrillic script. As far as I’m aware, there’s no Cyrillic used anywhere else on the blog. Come into my office, Google, and explain yourself.

strict her bottom – Oh, no! Not that! Please don’t strict my bottom, sir! A stricting really hurts!

pussy rammstein actress names – I know you’ve come here for the post about Rammstein’s spanking music video, but unfortunately, it didn’t have credits. And it’s not really a funny search term, but it’s a good place to boast that I’m going to see Rammstein live in a couple of weeks, so there!

What the Net dragged in – 18

The search terms have been so accurate recently, it’s nearly pointless doing the “silly search term” category any more, but there’s still fun to be had there, I believe. Here are some recent ones:

banned.fuck.porn – Nope, only unbanned.spanking.porn here right now. That one looks like a name of a Usenet group, except I’ve never heard of the “banned” hierarchy. Must be a super-secret one.

vanilla spankings – Mmm-hmm. And also, let me share some boiling ice.

castration – Ouch. I can but idly wonder whether this person was looking for an instruction manual here, and what might have tipped them off that there won’t be one. Seriously, Google, why?

dirty lines about spanking – “Oh, no! I’ve accidentally fallen into a puddle of mud! I’m getting a spanking!” Is that dirty enough?

What the Net dragged in – 17

Let’s have another look at the search terms that bring people to my site. These have been more or less mundane recently, giving us the usual array of spanking, caning and paddling terms, as well as 15 variation of spelling “Amelia-Jane Rutherford”. Here are a few fun ones:

spanking pensioners – I’m sure they do, and long may they enjoy their well-deserved spanking, but you’re giving me images of my mother-in-law OTK. Please stop.

extreme bestiality – I’m alarmed that Google thought my site was a good match for this term. WTF, Google? (Of course, now that I used the phrase, it is actually a match. Damn.)

lovely spanking – Aww, isn’t that sweet? Some spankings are lovely, I’m sure. I just don’t get many of those – mine tend to be of the oh-my-fucking-god-this-hurts type.

women caned on the bare eve in eden – Everything was going so well for the first two-thirds of this search string…

What the Net dragged in – 16

I don’t know what to make of it, but I’ve had very few whacky search terms in the recent months. I still don’t think everybody who ends up here via a search engine actually wants to be here, but that’s the nature of the Web, isn’t it?

Anyway, a couple of search terms made me smile today:

free hard canings – yes, whenever I get a hard caning, I don’t have to pay a penny for it

spanked with a shoe – for god’s sake, don’t forget to break off the heel!

winning stroke – tune in for the national televised spanking competition

magical janet spanking – abracadabra! WHACK

ladies spanking ladies on bare bottoms – unless your husband or daddy is in the House of Lords, you don’t get to play spanking games, oh no

What the Net Dragged In – 15

I’ve decided to renew my series of posts of weird and wonderful search terms that bring people to my site. Recently there’ve been some particularly nice ones.

cane old fashioned store london fetish punishments – gosh, some people write the scripts of spanking movies for you

funerals and when you can’t flush the loo – explain that one to me, people at Google

how to make a caning very painful – to start with, try not to miss the bottom altogether…

happy spanking video – awww! And then they all had tea and cake.

spanking? – no shit?

how to make a potatoes caning – step away from the spuds, pervert…