Don’t listen to pornographers; they lie.

Misc Perversions — By Adele on 31 March, 2006 2:49 pm

A list of “10 lies pornographers tell” over on SugarBank made me very, very giggly indeed. I’m not as knowledgeable about vanilla porn industry as anybody who actually likes sex would be, so some of the common lies were a surprise:

4. Reality Porn. You go for a drive with a few friends. Seeing a cute girl on the street you stop to offer her a ride. She sees four guys in a van, one of whom has a video camera, and gets in. You ask to see her tits and she says no, so you offer her a hundred bucks to fuck you and your buddy. She thinks about it, realizes she’s always wanted to be a prostitute, asks for two hundred, and jumps on your dick. You’re not wearing a rubber and she’s a total stranger but neither of you are worried because, like, what are the odds?

Eh? You mean, there are people dim-witted enough to buy that? But then, I suppose, if there are people weird enough in the head to think that a spanking pay-site can be devoted entirely to spanking real women for real infractions…

I also loved this part:

2. Teens. Women are only teenage and legal for two years. Tiffany Teen’s been online since 2003 and if you think that she was eighteen when she started… wanna buy a bridge? You can’t really fault women who exploit the borderline-pedophile market but seriously, when was the last time you saw a real teenager in a pink mini-skirt and pigtails?

*Twirling a tip of a pigtale around my finger* Don’t believe the nasty man, mister. Next he’ll tell you that pornstar teens actually don’t run their own websites single-handedly. Poo to that.

Anyway, have a good weekend, munchkins; I’m off to be thrashed in front of a camera. Next time we talk, I’ll be sitting on a cushion. (Mmmm.)

Your friend Adele,
not a teenager