Jesus, that spanking hurts
Photos, Private Life and Play — By Adele on 21 November, 2007 9:14 pmWell, if Jesus is doing it, spanking must be a good thing, right?
Would this be a good time to mention that when, as a child, I first developed my master/apprentice fantasies, I thought that the relationship between Jesus and the apostles sounded extremely promising?
I didn’t get as far as actually writing any “Jesus spanks John and Andrew” fanfiction, but there were fantasies, yes.
I’ll have that “Adele is going to hell” T-shirt for Christmas, thanks.
(The picture came by email from Niki.)
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44 Comments
I’d like one of those t-shirts as well. :)
OK, now I’ve seen everything. I am speechless.
I never knew Jesus was left-handed.
I am likewise bereft of speech.
Thank you, Jesus, for not taking the panties down.
Do you think that hurts worse than a Superman spanking?
Also: How perverse to tell children that if they are sick it’s because they were bad.
Errrrm…Isn’t the reason she got sick because of all the bee stings she got on her face when she attacked the hive with a stick and tried to steal their honey?..or am I just misreading the situation, as usual?
Would a spanking even make that much of an inpression when you’ve already been stung by a hundred bees.
This is just the kind of twisted reasoning that brought us the crusades, the Spanish inquisition, the Salem witch trials and the war in Iraq. Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to list the crusades twice. (And I bet you weren’t expecting the Spanish inquisition!)
A paddle with holes hurts more, I wonder about a hand with holes.
Erica – according to the Catholic church He’s left footed, too.
Puts a whole new spin on that trite “What would Jesus do?” outlook.
Maybe when they talked about Jesus and his twelve disciples it was all a mistranslation, and they really meant Jesus and his twelve discipline sessions.
Look further into that book and you find things like:
2 Samuel 7:14 “I will be a father to him and he will be a son to Me; when he commits iniquity, I will correct him with the rod of men and the strokes of the sons of men”
I am sure they include women and daughters too.
For some reason, I find that cartoon completely hysterical… :)
@Lancisto: Of course they do. Don’t you know that all the evil in the world was caused by woman acting like a brat (Eve eating the apple)?
That cartoon of Jesus is inaccurate. The artist left out His erection. O.k…where do I get the t-shirt?
Great costume to wear to a Shadow Lane party!
Can I be Mary Magdalene?
I’d rather you went as Salome.
L.
ps: please, no jokes about Italian sausages….
Sure, I’ll be Salome if you’ll be John the Baptist. ;-)
[bad joke] Which head do you propose to cut off? [/bad joke]
Poor little girl… what the drawing doesn’t show is that the Father and Holy Ghost are standing in line behind Jesus.
but you’re so gorgeous, Niki, I’ve already lost my head over you.
I don’t speak English I have therefore took a translator to give you my commentary that here it is:
That you have this sexual drift that is your problem, but of there to amalgamate the Christ there that is an abérration.
Don’t I understand, how can believe that Christ would have had such thoughts? Read the sermon on the mountain and review your statements before calumniating God’s son.
You make publish some lies only under the table setting of the sex and these deviations it is a real ineptitude!
Pass the popcorn, someone.
Niki, you don’t *really* think I’m going to flame somebody who doesn’t speak enough English to appreciate a good verbal bashing? :)
“Calumniating” is good, though. I shall remember that one.
No, I didn’t think YOU’D flame her, but I thought it might start some mud-slinging. Frankly, I’m surprised it took this long for the religious nuts with no sense of humor to pop up.
Not sure if it’s the sentiment that I find a little nauseating, or the shocking collision of images. I couldn’t think of anything to add to what Erica said – I’m speechless.
Now my speech has returned, can I assume it was a spoof (in which case, Sylvie’s wrath doesn’t look quite so misdirected)?
If it’s genuine, then pass the sick bag!!!
To think somebody spent hours drawing these pictures (in such intricate detail). What would have been going through their mind?!
It all reminds me of a cult film I saw a trailer for called “Jesus Camp”. (The horror!, the horror!)
If Sylvie can’t understand English and only has the imagery to go by, has she assumed that the drawing was done by a spanko? That could explain her anger, but it does lead to questions about the mind-set of the person who actually did draw the thing.
if sylvie doesn’t read english, how can she tell that it’s actually jesus/god/whomever and not just some random dude in a robe?
Sylvie is right, you know. And she was charitable to describe your sexual drift as a “problem”. I say it is a disgusting abomination before the face of the Lord! Filth and perversion! What is wrong with you people?
Don’t you know that the Christian faith is all about love, understanding and tolerance?
So stop this blasphemy, and SHUT THE FUCK UP!
*snort* Funny, Ludwig :)
At least the great Klaus Kinski is with is in his “angry” interpretation of Jesus…
“He took a whip and smacked their faces! YOU STUPID PIG!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBDEQe9CjOU
LOL! Holy cow Ludwig! WTF was that?
This would be funny if it weren’t so fucked-up.
Okay. It’s still funny. But it’s also fucked-up. What kind of sick bastard teaches children that they get sick because they’ve been bad?
Mmmrrrm. My question is, if Sylvie doesn’t speak enough English to flame the blog directly, why is (she?) reading it? o.0
Also, I’m amused by the idea of a translator that can’t handle even the most basic syntax, but manages to throw “calumniating” in. I end up imagining something like C-3P0 in a puritan’s buckled cap- falling down drunk.
(I’d comment on the post itself, but there isn’t much to say… It’s a pretty straightforward artifact of “bad things happen to you because you’re flawed” religious horror.)
Oh Lord! I don’t know what’s funnier, the post or the comments.. ;-)
Been over to Landover Baptists? Check out their WWJD panties.
Sorry to take this a little off topic Adele but ….
“Sylvie Said:
November 23, 2007 at 12:45 pm
I don’t speak English I have therefore took a translator to give you my commentary that here it is:”
Fire your translator.
“Allow me humbly, Lord,to discipline this boy. Outside of this office, his failings are on my account.”- Father Michael Sayler, S.J., Prefect of Discipoline at a Jesuit prep school I attended.
Sorry about the typo I tried to correct it in time. At any rate, Father Sayler wasn’t a hypocrite.
As a freshman, I took $50 my uncle had given me to a massage parlor on 26th and Lexington. It was a Saturday. In those days, priests held confessions on Saturday so that we could communicate on Sunday. Afterwards, impressionable boy that I was, I ran to confession at my prep school on 15th and 6th.
Of course, my confessor was the Prefect of Discipline. My heart sank. All he said was,”I will absolve you. Your penance is to say a rosary to the Virgin Mother of God. She will absolve you even though you interfered with the free will of her daughter.”
Needless to say, the matter ended there.
Where is this from? The picture is wrong, because Jesus does not sexually humiliate your bottom as punishment when you stir up bees. Bee stings are not humiliating or sexual.
The cartoonist may be historically right.
Didn’t Jesus say “When someone slaps you on your right bottom cheek, you should present onto them your other bottom cheek”.
It would be more realistic if he was spanking an angel…
I’m going to Hell aren’t I?
What I want to know is where did that little page of propaganda come from? If I was a better artist I’d have that bottom bare , make it even more disturbing.
I mean if that was a serious religious pamphlet page? Did the artist really need her pants down? Just screams “wrong” so may as well take it all the way down (ohh what a bad pun)
THIS MAKES ME FEEL OLD. Y0U (as adele ) SHOWED IT DURING THE FIRST wonderful YEAR OR TWO OF YOuR BLOG AND IT AROUSED PRETTY MUCH THE SAME SENTIMENTS THEN AS NOW. RELIGIOSE SPANKING IS particularly uggsome because it equates spanking with all the really bad things that happen in the world and which hey like to see s God’s just punishmen of humkan sin. (PS: Joseph de Maistre (ulra-ractionary philosopher) said “All punishment is love”.
So it ws 2007, not in the earliest years. And Niki’s contributions are also from the deep freeze. Has there not been word from her since she decided that nice things were nice and painful things were not? It would be great to have a signal from her….
abou what it’s like living without the joys of spanking