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Learning spanking technique from video
A recent advice column discusses the problems that arise when a young man learns all his sex techniques from porn. (Via) Despite the vastness of choice in porn genres, it’s pretty clear to me that trying to have sex the porn way is going to be uncomfortable, not very pleasant, and an overall bad idea.
Thinking about spanking videos, though, I can’t unequivocally say the same thing. Certainly, the spanking that happens on camera has to look good before anything else. Also certainly, there’s only a limited number of unequivocally competent camera tops, particularly when you hand them a cane.
Yet – particularly where the spanking vids that are made by genuinely kinky people are concerned – watching what happens on the screen may not be the worst way of learning. A responsible video top, e.g. Paul Kennedy of Northern Spanking, will never do something on the screen that’s not sensible and safe in real-life as well.
On the other hand, anybody who tries learning their caning technique from, say, Lupus, and tries that on a girlfriend, would be lucky to get just safeworded at, and not summarily dumped.
What do you think, munchkins – is it a good idea to pick up spanking tips from videos?
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11 Responses to “Learning spanking technique from video”
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The problem with this is that spanking videos are predominantly non-sexual (and if they are sexual, it’s more likely to be in a voyeuristic way). Our fantasies may be about sexless, institutionalised or domestic punishment, but my spanking play is anything but. Kink.com are the only company I’ve seen who successfully buck this trend. Which is one of the reasons I want to make some spanking porn that has sex in.
Then there’s the fact that spanking videos tend to be roleplay scenes – you very rarely get lovers playing with each other. So unless you were happy getting into character every time you want to play, that wouldn’t really help much. Again, roleplay in porn is great fun, but in real life it’s me doing what my Doms tell me and there’s really very few theatrics.
Which brings me to my third point. HAM. ;)
Other than that … I guess on a physical level it’s quite good for demonstrating the range of “stuff that tends to work in real life” – unlike, say, literary porn or art, which can be rather more extreme or unrealistic. But if all my real spankings were like spanking videos I’d get SO BORED. I mean, the spanking over the skirt, and then over the knickers, and then on the bare, and then a lecture and corner time, and then more otk… in real life it tends to be short and sweet, with much less time for a slow warm up. I think if I played with a new partner who’d learned to pace scenes off spanking videos and went through the whole tedious process I might just scream ;)
People should learn to play with people from playing with people. Spanking videos are awesome food for ideas, though.
*Just* from vids…I wouldn’t think so. It’s difficult to tell just how much something might hurt, from a video, especially if the bottom has a high pain tolerance.
Bu-u-u-ut, it could be a tool among many. Some vids, at different levels of intensity, combined with blogs and articles about spanking or domination. It might be should be able to see that *most* people don’t react to a hard caning with a little squirmy ‘ow.’
I’m German, so my english is not so good. What other way is there to learn techniques? When you are searching for a partner for any kind of bdsm experience you’ll always hear “you are too young, I#m searching for an experienced Dom” Honestly this “boys have to be fully educated in terms of sex before the first time” pisses me off in general, but, in fetish things this gets much worse. There are maybe 2 guys on 1 girl, doesn’t matter wether you search for a Domina or a Sub, the girls make the choice. So, if you are lucky and get someone convinced to have kinky sex, you better be good the first time you try…
apart from that: Most girls seem to need to be about 20 to realize they need something else than prince charming on the white horse (means: fetish sex, anal sex, or something else kinky) and then need a MAN who is at least 5 years older. What should a boy from 15 (17?18?) to 25 do, if not using porn?
I think it is a good way to start. Face it, very few people get a chance to meet enough people in the scene to practice with. This was a real problem for me in my younger days. I had a girlfriend who was into getting spanked and she was the first one who brought it to my attention in a sexual matter. Later girlfriends showed some interest in it. Then I get to a really serious relationship and it caused problems. She didn’t get it. She considered it degrading. Unlike my friends girlfriends and wives who were interested in it a a domestic discipline level.
Watching a variety of videos from lets say “Real Spankings” teaches you that some people like different instruments. And people have different tolerance levels. Shadowlane.com has erotic spanking and tutorial on how to get your lover into it.
I have heard Doms say this and I have to agree. To be a good spanker you have to spend some time on the receiving end. I didn’t realize that light and fast was more effective ( and erotic) then really hard and slow.
Pandora brought up a good point that real life spanking are usually very quick although although I have read posts from some women who prefer a long drawn out ritual.
I’m strange, I think. I don’t really like hurting people, but spankings have to!! However – some of the heavier sites seem to really damage peoples bums and I am uncomfortable with that. Punishment must hurt to be effective – but not too much. If people enjoy pain it must hurt too… I can only assume that the best way is to know where your boundaries lie with you and your partner. You can’t get that from videos. Oh dear, it’s sooo dificult!!!
Why i do agree with you that you can learn from some of the cp companys it is better to have more hands on time before you try any of the more harder things like canes whips.if a person is new to the life than i would also say they should if possable ask someone who has been into it for a little ensite as to how to go about it and not just turn some one over and just wack away
I suppose you can learn options, but as with sex, you don’t just thrust them upon someone who is there to enjoy themselves too. Aim for them to enjoy it more than you, and you can’t go far wrong.
I suppose you can learn options, but as with sex, you don’t just thrust them upon someone who is there to enjoy themselves too. Aim for them to enjoy it more than you, and you can’t go far wrong This is the best advice I’v read! I would advize never Use a singel one of My vids or any other from a spanking site for a (set-up, role play, or What You may just want to happen. I’m telling You truley. She won’t be abel to handel it and Your going to spoil Your playdate, with littel chance of schedualing another one! If the two of You are already in the mindset of playing out a spanking senerio, Let Her watch some of Your favorite (vids, downloads, dvd’s) and tell Her I have something in mind like this, but not ever that exstream. {We’ll work slow, and make it fun, I’ll always stop if Your uncomfortable (IMMEDIENTLY) I would not recommend using useing professinal terms for a date like this, such as (safe word, sweetspot, otk) This is only a playdate and coming out with too many tech terms could intimidate and make Her think = He’s got this way too planed out! take it slow, savor each moment! Lots of rubbing Her bottom after each swat, while insuring Her I don’t want to leave a bruise! Fun for Both and You can build from there!
I started spanking girls (with various implements) before there were any videos to be seen, nor a scene, clubs or literature. Not in my part of the world then. We had to learn from trial and error. These days, some of the spanking porn can be instructive. But I have sent a great number of tips to major spanking sites about what they do wrong. Such as hitting too high up with canes, or using canes with split ends. Or beating too fast when they do it hard.
Still I think many ‘pro’ spankers can use some advice from all of you experienced and cautious amateurs.
Would be nice to see a vid where both parties clearly enjoyed the scene. or is that too kinky.
Would be nice too, and very erotic, to see an “instructional” vid looking at various mplements and their use, even exploring knickers v. bare (for us really weird people )
We all have to learn somewhere. I saw lots of film canings before I even had the chance to do it myself. I also destroyed a lot of cushions trying out my technique before attempting it on a lady! All this was of course a long time ago as I have been filming top roles now for many years!
My hero in spanking films was always Ivor Gold. His delivery of the cane was as accurate and precise as was his dialogue. ‘Pithy’ was one word I used to describe him.
One day Adele may like to ‘audition’ for SoundPunishment .. then maybe she will consider adding me to her list of “limited number of unequivocally competent camera tops” ……. my having made over 300 films for my own and other companies :-)