Life in spanking after 30: part 1
Politics of porn — By Adele on 11 October, 2010 4:17 pmIt’s my birthday tomorrow. I’m turning 31. I’m a bit silly about birthdays – as far as I’m concerned, it’s a special day that’s all about me, and I expect to be pampered and spoiled all day long. (And with both my husband and my lover spending the day with me, that’s exactly how it’s going to be.)
I’ve noticed something as I moved towards my birthday last year, and again this year. When I start discussing my birthday in conversation with friends and acquaintances, they frequently exude this air of expectation, like they’re waiting for me to start lamenting my advanced age, and wailing about my youth slipping through my fingers. I’ve certainly heard such wailing from a few of my girlfriends, and I know the conversational queues where it’s almost polite to start wringing your arms about your life being over. (This applies no matter how old you’re turning: one of my oldest friends started this process at 19, and repeats it every year.) And this, frankly, baffles me.
I’m in no way a person without confidence issues – trust me, I have plenty. But, whereas you’re likely to hear me sobbing into my wineglass about my writing skills or my struggle to conquer high heels (NB: I’m close to giving up on this last one) – every new birthday is a source of enjoyment for me, not a package of insecurities. Age angst is alien to me.
That’s all well and good, but that’s my personal life. With spanking modelling, things have a potential to turn a little more interesting.
An actress in spanking films – particularly a spankee – can expect to play young or youthful characters: schoolgirls, naughty nieces, cheerleaders, and so on. Where in private role-play I’m pretty comfortable with dressing up as a schoolgirl until they cart me away to the nursing home, I’m vain enough that at some point I’ll want to stop doing the same thing on film. Not yet, of course, but the day will come.
I wonder, will this day come at the same time for me, the spanking producers who shoot me, and the folks who watch me? In my experience, spanking models are encouraged to lower their age for as long as they can, and certainly to never admit they’re as ancient as 30+ years old. (Unless, of course, they’re in their 40s.) There have been (wildly successful) models who have managed to convince the world they were up to 10 years younger than in reality, which has made me giggle on occasion, particularly while reading message board discussions.
I’m unwilling to play the “you may never age” game at this stage, though I have before. I don’t know what this will do to my modelling. I’m pretty sure that, if I want to top, I can do it at any age, but I’m not ready to give up bottoming on camera yet. I’m curious to see if stating my real age will influence the roles available to me, and what sort of feedback I’ll get from the viewers, some of whom seem to be terrified of numbers higher than 29.
I was curious enough about this issue that I’ve contacted a few fellow models who admit to being in their 30s, and asked them how modelling has changed for them over the years. I’ll publish their responses soon, so stay tuned.
In the meantime, I’d be curious to hear some of your thoughts. How old are you (roughly)? How’s it going for you, being a spanko that age?
Tags: gender, kink & age
Share on Facebook
Digg This
Bookmark
Stumble
22 Comments
Well I am in my middle fifties and spanking and role play has not changed one bit since forever! It’s all in the mind. My kinky friends are roughly my age, so we are all ageing disgracefully together.
That sounds like a good plan, Fred :)
I’m with you on birthdays. Every year of my life so far, I’ve been more happy, more successful and more comfortably, contently me. What’s to mourn about aging? Aging is brilliant.
I’ve been honest about my age since I started modelling at 22, and as such, it would be pretty obvious if I were to start lying about it at any point. By the time I reach the terror-inducing 30 that might put off other producers, I’m hoping to be well established as a producer myself and no longer working for other people, so hopefully this isn’t something I’m going to have to deal with on that level. (And yeah, I am going to be going for age diversity in my casting as well as everything else – seems only fair.)
I’m 55. Several friends my age have pretty much walked away from kink play, not because they felt old, just because they felt they’d had their fill and could always go back if they wanted to. As someone who came to kink in my early 40′s, I feel I haven’t really gotten my fair share. If my friends keep walking away from it, I probably won’t get it. On the other hand, I’ve played with people 20 years older and 20 years younger than I am. I feel fortunate that I’m still physically able to play if the opportunity comes up — still flexible enough to be tied, and :: runs to check :: my bottom is still pretty cute. I only top once in a while, but I have no reason to think age has hurt my accuracy with a cane at all.
I feel the same as Pandora. Other than my teenage years (which were generally a bit miserable!), I’ve got progressively more happy and confident as I’ve aged. I’m going to be 31 this year too and I’m looking forward to it.
Regarding being a spanko, I’ve thought about modelling for a while now and I’m aware that I have more limited time to get round to it if I want to be a bottom. But for private play I don’t think age is an issue.
wish you a happy birthday. kiss
I turned 53 last month and I am as enthusiastically kinky today as I was at thirty or forty (and more so than twenty!). There will undoubtedly come a day when we will have to slow down, but that day is not today.
Erica Scott’s fan base appears to be as large and faithful as ever. If her experience provides any guidance, there may not be any absolute age limit for bottoms. As you once said, there is a market for spanking scenes featuring many sorts of women.
So perhaps at some point, you trade the bratty school girl for the naughty housewife. It’s all good.
Happy birthday!
Bonnie
Hi Adele.
I’m afraid I’m going to be coy about my own age, except to say that I shan’t be celebrating my 31st again!
Personally I like to see older women being spanked (that sounds like some twisted political correctness right there!) I don’t think I’m alone in that either, but I guess it’s meagre consolation if the people hiring the models have a different view.
Presumably you could always capitalise on your topping tendencies – that seems a popular career path for ‘past it’ professional spankees – but seriously, there are a hundred hot scenarios that don’t require you to pass yourself off as a schoolgirl for the rest of your life. If you’re still across someone’s knee 20 years from now, then I for one would still want to see the pictures. :)
Oh, and do you really agonise about your writing? I think it’s great!
Happy Birthday Adele.
I am in my mid 50′s and my wife is nearing her mid 60′s and I still fancy her like mad when she wears school uniform. I certainly would have no hesitation in filming you for SoundPunishment.com as a naughty schoolgirl. You are as young as the persona you want to be :-)
Well, as I didn’t even first get spanked until I was eight months older than you are now, it’s probably quite a good job that I don’t really obsess about my age. Sometimes when I’m in a group of young twenty somethings, I jokingly think, and say, that I feel old, but it is mostly jokingly. I think my life has only got better as the years have gone on, and I’m certainly not going to be giving up my kinky life and all my fun role play any time soon, now that I’ve found it!
I think age very much is a state of mind, and none of us know how much time we have on this earth, so we shouldn’t spend it wishing things that we have no power to change are other than they are – age is most definitely one of those things we can’t change!
Well, hey, Adele, what about Jean Bradley or Erica Scott? They’re a bit over 30, and still doing it!
Happy Birthday, Adele! As you know, we’re about the same age. I used to see things like Pandora, I loved getting older because I felt more self-confident and comfortable every year.
It has changed a bit in the last two years, though. I still celebrate my birthday and the fun outweighs the negative thoughts, but sometimes I feel a little bit like I’m running out of time. I think first of all, that has to do with the fact that I became Ludwig’s mate only 1 ½ years ago. At the moment, I just want to enjoy the time with him, but I also know that I want to have kids in the long run. And I don’t want to be too old, when I become a mother. Having a few more years of time would definitely be nice concerning that issue.
And in addition to that I also started exploring my kink only less than two years ago. I still don’t know what I would like to do especially in front of a camera (if anything at all), but I wished I had more time to explore that slowly without worrying about suddenly looking too old for some roles. Luckily, it seems like I’m looking several years younger than I am. I always hated that, but now I’ve come to love it because it takes some of the pressure from me.
One more reason for me feeling a bit uncomfortable with getting older could be the fact that my mum as well as Ludwig’s dad died at quite a young age. It makes me think that Ludwig and I might not have as much time together as we’d like and that we might not be able to accompany our future children as long as we’d love. That scares me a bit. On the other hand, one never knows, maybe we’re lucky and both of us will become very old?!
One thing is for sure: Life is too short to be scared all the time and to miss out on the fun of celebrating one’s birthday. So, I wish you a great birthday party and a wonderful time with both your husband and your lover! :-)
I won’t say too much since I am one of the over-30s Adele has interviewed, but I find it interesting that two people have mentioned Erica Scott in these comments. It’s peculiar to me in this subject area her name is often the first to come up. Like she is the one pillar of hope for the more mature lady or something. Don’t get me wrong, Erica is sensational. She is witty, she is intelligent, she is incredibly spankable and she is gorgeous. And I will quantify that. She is gorgeous. Period. Not “gorgeous for her age”. That particular turn of phrase really cheeses me off. Why can’t a woman just be gorgeous? Why when she becomes over 35, does any compliment about a woman’s look, her health, her body, her mind, her lifestyle etc have to be followed by “for her age”?
And sadly, whilst I am a big champion of Erica as a spanking model and I will continue to work with her as long as she wants to model, there are far many more producers who would not even consider booking her. And even some who have shot a lot with her in the past but won’t do now.
THIS is what is truly sad about the industry. I do believe in age diversity, and will always continue to make sure we have that as much as possible. I am so pleased Pandora plans to support this too as a new producer. We need more of that I think. A girls age matters much less to me in filming than her genuine enthusiasm, attitude and passion.
Erica should NOT be the exception, she should be a fine example of a general rule – quality, genuine spankos who are sexy and passionate about what they do.
Adele,
I am in my late 50s and love spanking more than ever. It’s really got nothing to do with your actual age, and everything to do with your mental outlook. Mine is definitely kinky!
Hugs,
Hermione
My guess is that the whole world of spanking arts will be revolutionized; the basic themes will be given new forms and meanings, the conventional characters and plots will increasingly be replaced by entirely different kinds of actions and ideas.
Happy birthday, Adele: you will be helping to create that new world.
45 and it’s going swimmingly. Thanks for asking.
Thanks for this interesting discussion! I didn’t receive my first adult spanking until I was 42, so my current experiences are by default much better than they were before I turned 30!
I would echo Pandora’s comment about becoming more self-confident through the years, and I think that really takes off for most women sometime between 35 and 40. So whatever disadvantages age brings, I wouldn’t want to go back there.
OTOH, it seems to me the M/F scene certainly reinforces the older man/ younger woman stereotype to even greater degree than mainstream culture. It would be nice to see more older women– not just over 30, but over 50!– in spanking films, and I suspect that will happen as more women become involved in shooting spanking clips. I for one would love to see an older couple playing a role play game, or some kind of explanation that doesn’t require a “real” schoolgirl appearance, but does include the fun of that kind of scene. Naughty housewives just don’t do it for me!
Boy do I feel both old and young at the same time. I did not have my first adult spanking experience until I was about 46, a mere 15 years ago. I had fantasized intensely before that. The interest is still strong, and I play when I can albeit much too infrequently. That has to do with my “non-relationship” status and not lack of interest. It’s just tougher finding spanking partners where I live.
I for one would like to see more older women with real curves in spanking films. Young girls who look too much like real school girls is not where my interests lie. In general there is no age limit to looking good
Happy belated birthday, Adele.
I’m mid 40′s and although my jowels are hanging low n lazy nowadays and I’m losing (hmm, ok..lost) my looks haha, I feel better about myself than I did 10 years ago. I love the fact that you embrace the passing years (but you’re still a “babber” really), none of us can fight it, just hang on for the ride and enjoy what we have in life. I intend to! Even with my life changing direction soon! It’s scary but I feed off my fears and it motivates me to try new things. Sorry about the belated bit, I’ve been away and started catching up on all the spanking blogs I read :)
Where is the spanking-after-60 thread?
Come back in 30 years, when I have an insight to offer :-P