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On The Subject Of Limits
And I’m talking about psychological limits here as much as what you will or won’t be hit with.
I know a girl whose rigid, absolute limit is that she will never play any “spanked for smoking” scenes. Her aversion to smoking is so strong that she won’t associate herself with somebody who’d do it even in a fantasy. Another girl won’t play “wife caught overspending on credit-cards” – bad memories of student debt, I guess; she’s very responsible. And it’s all OK, you know. Just as much OK as my hang-up about playing a shoplifter (or any type of petty thief – burglaries or, say, bank robberies are fine). Or in fact my reluctance to work with vanilla girls who do spanking stuff for money only. It’s hard to avoid, unless Northern Spanking (who have every respect for limits) remain the only people I work for, but it’s still fine. Limits are OK. I wish it was possible to drum it into some people’s heads. Limits are personal, and they are *fine*.
I don’t smoke either, incidentally, and never would, but I don’t mind being spanked for holding a cigarette. As long as it’s not lit and stinking at me, in which case I become very ill.
So, what are the big things I won’t do on camera?
The simple answer is, I won’t do anything that I don’t feel is hot to some degree. I’ve ventured into this carreer to get my pervy kicks; money is nice, particularly in as much as it makes me hot to be paid for doing spanking modelling, but my biggest consideration is pervy kicks.
I won’t do anything to do with sex. I don’t care much about sex on the whole. Things that are sexy to many (most?) women are jaw-achingly boring to me. Spanking is sensual or psycho-erotic for me rather than sexual, so I just stick to spanking. Vanilla porn sends me to sleep. I love reading about how vanilla porn industry works, but the sex itself doesn’t really appeal.
I won’t model with my breasts exposed. They are very large breasts, and I’ve been told that I could make heaps of money and millions of fans just for taking my bra off, but I’m too shy to do it.
I won’t be hit anywhere other than my bottom, hands and (in exceptional circumstances) the backs of my thighs. I’m curious about feet, but I’ve never tried it properly, and it would have to be justified by the plot. In my private play I like to have my face slapped (by prior arrangement), but I wear braces right now, so I have to be careful of them. Anywhere else is just out.
I won’t be called names. On a case-by-case basis I may allow it, but only if it’s clear that the character using it is evil and abusive. The default is – no names.
Anything to do with medical play is out as well. I’ve surprised the crew at my recent shoot by my rabid aversion to playing a nurse – a stock character just as, say, as naughty secretary is – but I can’t stomach it.
Humiliation is out of question.
Race-play is out of questions. Any role-play to do with World War II is out of question.
There’s a million little hang-ups I often convince myself to step over, just because it feels hot to “force” myself to do something I’m not really into.
It’s a sizeable list of limits, as you can see, many of them wildly subjective. It’s also quite a fluid list: there are things I’ll do now which I would have considered squicky before. Sometimes I’ll think about scenes I’d like to suggest for filming, and surprise myself by coming up with a scenario that I would have run like mad from just a few months ago.
Still, it’s a quite a number of limits.
And guess what? It’s still OK.
I compensate for this by being eager to dive into the stuff that some of the others won’t touch: age-play, for instance, is a favourite of mine, and I can go quite young if necessary; I’m willing to suffer uncomfortable positions, such as kneeling or being tied up in an awkward way that photographs well. Taking a hand-tawsing is also an asset, I’m told, although my tolerance there doesn’t come near what I can take on my bottom. I don’t freak out if I’ve been cut, although I certainly would rather not continue to work if a tramline is weeping: it takes longer to heal when you allow that to happen, and some marks, I’m told, never go away at all. Still, I’m understanding of accidents.
But my limits are my own. Even if they limit my employability, I’d rather not shoot with somebody than not be able to face my reflection in the mirror come dawn.
Take care and guard your limits, munchkins.
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[...] Here’s a little specification. You know, when I said earlier that I wouldn’t shoot anything to do with sex? Kissing isn’t included, and neither is girl/girl fondling. *blushes furiously* [...]
Hard limit: Selfishness. Because of level I wish to play, I need to understand, feel absolute trust in/from the people with whom I play. If there are more than two people, then I have to be sure that the dynamic between all players is in balance, that all partners are nurtured and no-one is isolated. If I feel someone is withholding emotionally, or is disconcerted, then I need to ascertain why, and if I am the cause of any emotional isolation, get it sorted!
Redhead, that’s a good point: selfishness is a bad thing to bring with you into a scene. *Especially* when there are several players involved. If one of the players is disconnected from the others, the whole chain collapses.
Pity you are too shy to show your boobs often Adele. They really are beauties, as a photo on this blog from a Lupus spanking blog reveals-just the kind of boobs that match up well with a big round bottom like yours.
Cheers, Stevo