Niki- I absolutely agree that the world is a better place for people living out their dreams. I love that Mark Twain quote. Often when making a decision, I will ask myself which I’d rather have picked when looking back on my life.

Thebes

Come to think of it, my own experience with motorsport may be useful in this discussion. Motorsport is the great love of my life. I still remember the day I first made eye contact with an F1 driver and the first time I actually exchanged words with a driver. Since then, I’ve met quite a few drivers and I’m always happy to meet them. It’s still an event for me.

As I wrote, I have some experience with politicians. It was a bit like drivers: the more you spend time around someone you only know from an image, the more you realize he/she is a normal person and simply wants to be treated as such. Just a simple thing like having dinner in a restaurant becomes a surreal event because everybody looks at you.

I haven’t met a spanking model… yet. However, to me the biggest difference comes from the act that he/she would be a person that I’ve witnessed in a physically vulnerable position, at least theoretically on pictures and videos. Should I get to play with this person, there would be a physical quality the our interaction. I’ve shaken the hand of famous people, but I have yet to have had one over my knee, bare bottom. Even if it’s just play, spanking involves at least some sort of intimacy and vulnerability.

If you are a nice, normal person (well, as normal as we perverts can be!), people will notice that. If you are a snobbish princess, then no amount of etiquette hints is going to change that, anyway. So the whole list seems a bit pointless to me.

Personally, I’ve never been intimidated by fame. My family comes from a motorsports background, so I’ve met racing drivers and world champions even as a kid. Bosses of automobile companies and people like that. My own father was on TV a lot at the time, giving interviews and such. It was perfectly normal for me, and it never made a difference to me whether someone has his / her name in the paper or on the screen. They are still normal people with normal flaws.

My own personal heroes come from a different background, anyway. I’ve met some well-known philosophers and scientists, and sometimes I was a little star-struck when it was someone whose work I really love. But I can’t say that I was scared witless. I still talked to them in a normal way, and usually, they were very pleasant encounters.

Some spanking models are personal heroines of mine. So yeah, when I first met Niki, for instance, I was a little start-struck, too. In a semi-serious way. I had always loved her movies and her writing, I was very much looking forward to meeting her and finding out if she is really as great as it all looked. And she is. At the same time, she is just a kinky girl and very down to earth, so I felt quite comfortanle after 5 minutes of talking.

Of course, most spanking models have an exhibitionist streak somewhere, or else they wouldn’t be doing what they do. But that doesn’t mean that they are snotty, shallow “look at me” types. You can be an exhibitionist, entertain people, have a good time doing it, but you can still be nice and natural. That’s the point, I think: there is a playful, fun kind of exhibitionism, and an obtrusive, attention-seeking, annoying one. They are two very different things, and I believe that one can usually tell the difference.

When it comes to the “good” kind, wouldn’t parties be a lot less fun without it? I think many of us kinky people have that streak somewhere, not just models, but also bloggers, for instance. And things would be a lot less exciting without it.

So, whether it’s parties or modelling or blogging, just be natural, be yourself. People will recognize that. If you are totally self-absorbed and self-centered, they will recognize that, too, and etiquette isn’t going to help you.

If I go to an event like Night Of The Cane or something then I’m there for my own personal kicks. Though the opposite to what you and Bailey point out is also true. I’ve been on many a club night where people come up to me and because I’m “known” expect me to play with them. Whether I actually want to or not. And if you refuse, it doesn’t matter how polite you are, people assume you’re a stuck up bitch who’ll only do it for the money. Rather than a more truthful, “this is my night off and want to play with my husband/partner/friends, and actually you smell funny and your pants are crusty”.

I actually prefer it if I go to an event and people DON’T know me. I recently attended the first Northern Caning Night in Wakefield. Yes, I was there with our DVDs. But only because I was asked to bring them. But Paul and I were there intent on having fun, not promotion. I met lots of really lovely people and sat chatting to one guy for ages who then asked me how long I had been working for Northern Spanking. Which actually was really refreshing that he didn’t know “who I was”. it happened a couple of times during the night, and it actually gave me the freedom to be “me” and not keep myself in check because “Lucy” was there. People did ask me to play, and all were polite, as they were if I declined, and genuinely thrilled if I accepted. Not because I was a model, but because they actually quite fancied feeling my tawse across their bottom and no other reason. Bliss :-)

I have never attended a spanking party, and I’d need to overcome a huge amount of ‘first night nerves’ and such like in order to do so. I’d guess that if any new guy at one of these events seems to be avoiding the internet stars, it’s probably nothing more than shyness.
Maybe, Adele, you should add another point to your list:

9. If you spot someone who is obviously a first-timer at one of these events, then go over and say ‘hi’. Say that you don’t bite, and explain that even if he makes a total hash of spanking you, it’ll still be cool.

I think the problem is this whole “model” tag. I’ve never liked the term, so I made up my own: Professional Victim. Yeah, I’m a model when I’m posing for a camera (so is anyone else), but that’s really only a tiny fraction of my life. At parties I’m simply a very fortunate girl who’s been allowed to live out her dreams. I’m just *me*. If people enjoy my work, great. But I’m not in it for the money or the fame or the ego boost of being *a Model*. That’s silly. Go say hi to people and if they’re rude to you, fuck ‘em. But don’t assume they’ll be snobbish simply because their naughty bits are on the Net.

I know that people who don’t get thrashed on camera look at girls who do differently (what a clumsy sentence that was!), and that will probably never change. But the reality is that being visible on the Net doesn’t change who you are as a person. Well, OK, maybe it makes you a little more exhibitionistic, but what’s wrong with that? Without exhibitionists there’d be no amateur porn sites. No naughty housewives stripping in front of the window for the construction crew across the road. The world is a better place for people living out their dreams. It’s never too late to have fun.

“Twenty years from now you’ll be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the things you did.” (Mark Twain)

I don’t know if I would like to go to a spanking party or not. I would be curious as to what goes on and seeing certain superstars wearing nothing but watermelon juice would be interesting. I’m afraid I’d be too introverted and self conscious to have a good time, just like at any other party.