What the Net Dragged In – 3

Googlism — By Adele on 7 April, 2006 11:31 am

“Tell me a story of a schoolgirl being caned” – This actually came from Ask Jeeves, not Google. I hope it was somebody typing in a phrase from a story they were looking for, rather than asking Jeeves to tell them a story. Personally, I’d be a bit freaked out if Jeeves started talking to me. Unless it was the actual Jeeves, as in, Stephen Fry, as in, the owner of the best scolding voice in the Universe.

“I’ve been very naughty and I need to be punished” – Another one I can’t quite figure out. Is it somebody confessing to Google? Shouting their admission into the well, hoping for an echo that’ll go “be punished! be punished!”? Or – more likely, to be honest – they are after confessions from other people. Preferably girls, I would guess. Except, who on earth talks like that in real life?

audio of mistress telling schoolgirl to bend over for the cane – That’s kind of cool. My first spanking media porn was an audio clip of a girl role-playing with her husband/daddy: she apologised, he scolded and smacked, she yelped. I could seriously enjoy spanking audio porn, although it would have to be made specifically with audio consumers in mind – not just any old sound track ripped out of a DVD. A BBC radio play would be ideal.

inside leg spanking – Ouch! Ouch! Never again!

list of spanking objects – Um, what? You want a list of implements? How about “anything”? Remote controls, carrots (not grated), whippy houseplants, chopsticks – can I stop now? No seriously; compiling such a list would be a thankless, fruitless task. If somebody ever claimed to have made one, it would just prompt people to start squeaking: “Hey! You forgot ‘the handle of a vacuum cleaner!’ Amateur!”