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When Modelling Isn’t Fun Any More
To coincide with our amusing conversation about the hardships and excitement of full-time spanking modelling, there are some discussions going on in the blogosphere about sex work in general. There’s a collection of links on Mistress Matisse’s blog. She proceeds to talk about an important issue which any spanking model should well keep in mind: the moment you are not having fun working any more, it’s time to stop doing it and get the hell out. Over to Mistress Matisse:
I have indeed known women who disliked being sex workers. Most women, in fact, are not cut out for it, and they should not be doing it. I have a lot of sympathy for sex workers who decided, say, four months ago, that they hated the job. I’d like to help women like that quit and get other jobs.
But if you decided, like, five years ago that you hated the sex industry, and that it was fucking with your head, and ruining your relationships, and making you frigid, and just generally chewing your soul into tiny little pieces on a nightly basis, and you’re still here, then my sympathy for you is pretty limited. … So the day you decide that you hate the sex industry, that’s the day you need to start making a plan to get out.
Just swap the generic “sex industry” for the occupation-specific “spanking modelling”, and you’ve pretty much got my opinion, too. There are lots of less painful ways to make a living, so if a girl isn’t happy with what she’s doing and the sort of people she meets while doing it, it would be better for everybody if she takes herself elsewhere.
(Before you start wondering, this isn’t a jab at any particular model. When I have a feud with somebody, I’ll let you know, OK?)
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21 Responses to “When Modelling Isn’t Fun Any More”
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I was about to ask, so you are getting out of the spanking industry? However it doesn’t look that way. Thanks for always having something interesting to say Adele!
Yep. My philosophy precisely. Stop enjoying it, stop doing it!
Isn’t this true of most jobs, though? I mean, the average Westerner switches careers five times during their lives nowdays.
Juju – are you kidding? I haven’t shot my masterpiece yet, I ain’t goin’ nowhere!
Lucy – *nod, nod, nod* :)
Robert – absolutely, this should apply to any job. Often people either don’t think they have a choice, or in fact don’t have many options (where they live, or what they can do), but I’m a firm believer of pulling yourself out of the bog by your hair if necessary.
I agree with Adele regarding choices and pulling yourself out of the bog. There are choices out there, especially in the civilized world, and it’s important to chose your occupation based on what your passions are, not what will look good on your resume lest you slide into the life of quiet desperation.
Amber – I’d love to see a situation when “spanking model” would look good on a resume!
Maybe if you’re trying to pitch a book? Or become a, I dunno, a Playboy bunny? :-P
Though the reverse works: if what you want most of all in life is to be an erotica model, but can’t because it’ll harm your resume, maybe it’s time to get a different career!
That will look good on your resume when you are getting other fetish/spanking modeling jobs, of course :).
Dude, do most models have resumes? Clearly I missed that memo.
Dude! You sounded almost American just now!
Or, shall I say, portfolio…
On a different note, boy, Pandora, you sure post some nice pictures over at your blog!
Hey, by the way, I just had a strange dream last night that Niki Flynn (correct spelling, right?) came to visit me over at my farm with a whole set of leather implements, which I was trying to push under the arm-chair so that no-one would see it. What a strange dream, and why Niki Flynn in particular, I don’t know. I think it means I’ve been spending too much time recently in the world of virtual spanking, that’s all.
Amber,
I’ve been in a real life situation with certain people trying to hide implements under the sofa at the holiday cottage we were staying in. That can be fairly traumatic if you’re not the person who did it but you are a person who knows about it. Do you tell, do you not tell, do you deny it when it’s discovered? Do you try to convince the person to put it back, put it back yourself? The problem of course is if you do nothing, when it is discovered you will be held to as much blame as the one who did the hiding….
Very tricky indeed!
Amber – When I redo my portfolio I should have a modelling CV, I think, all in business-jargon :) It would amuse me, anyway! And thank you … I know some very good photographers :)
I’m still balancing my p/t spanking and fashion modeling career with a full time job so for me its hard for me to imagine how i’d feel if I had to do this as to live. I don’t do many 121’s like a sex worker but don’t see what we do as the same anyway. On another forum i said that I didn’t see it as any different to a service such as massage, chiropody or reiki, all which offer relaxing stimulus to bodily parts!
I got into a deep convo with my friend last nite about the morality and church views on this and other things I have had to go through in my life to survive, and I’m happy that I don’t ever feel bad about myself or that I have let down my spiritual beliefs or broken any personal rules for myself. As long as I always try to help and care about others and give back as much as i get from society then how i spend my own time should never be ant concern of others. Happiness however we get it or share it to others is hard to find so until I find a big enough reason to stop doing what i enjoy I will carry on with a clear soul and conscience.
things I have had to go through in my life to survive, and I’m happy that I don’t ever feel bad about myself or that I have let down my spiritual beliefs or broken any personal rules for myself.
If you see this as something you “have to go through to survive”, I’d be a bit worried… I assume from the rest of your comment though that you’re referring to other things than spanking modelling?
As it happens, I do see myself as being a sex worker – or certainly in the sex industry – but as a feminist I think that this isn’t necessarily a bad thing; it’s an informed choice we have a right to make :) (I don’t do parties or 1-2-1s, incidentally). I’m not criticising you – just wanted to point out that most of us who do consider ourselves to be sex workers don’t have any regrets either :)
Re: If you see this as something you “have to go through to survive”, I’d be a bit worried… I assume from the rest of your comment though that you’re referring to other things than spanking modelling?
lol, of course not Pandora .. and yes, i was refering to other things than spank modelling I have needed to do to survive, things that the church may not also have approved of either. It wasn’t me who started down the moral road in the deep debate with my friend last night but I just defended what I do and have done, as any of us would making an informed choice on our lifestyle and well-being.
I agree it can only be classed as a “sex industry”, don’t have any regrets either but don’t see it as offering sexual services in the same way as prostitution, which I understood (perhaps completely wrongly!) was the initial reference to “sex workers” in this thread with the mention of becoming frigid from it? I can see from your classification of yourself that it is a broader industry term to you, and that’s great if you see it that clearly.
My friend likened spanking modelling to prostitution and said it was all the same and that it’s “just as bad”, that’s where I tried to make a distinction. Before you may ask, I don’t think any work in the sex industry is bad or wrong, don’t ever ride moral high horses but live and let live, and was just saying I see clear differences within the services offered.
Just had an early morning afterthought to all this (thanks Pandora, your comments were brilliant and made me think a bit more!).
In my post I was really posing a bigger question:
Is Spanking modelling sex work, and if so, is it a form of prostitution to be seen in the same way as those who may be seen as traditional “sex workers”? Or, is it any more artistic or creative than that?
I doubt if i will ever become frigid from it (as Mistress Matisse originally explored in her reference to “sex workers” which led me to believe she classed that group as those offering physical sex), so therefore, are we really all sex workers?
I don’t mind either way if it is the case that there is an industry standard category that we fall into but maybe its all just interpretation and a play on words anyway? I just feel different about what I do so its a personal head thing i guess.
Emma
xx
Didn’t you guys know? We’re not sex workers… we’re Drama Therapists! ;-)
mmm lol Lucy, i bagsee the part of Cinderella in the next spank panto!
As a Marketing professional, i was coming at it this from the viewpoint of Theodore Levitt who wrote about Marketing Myopia when studying the Hollywood film industry in 1960 i think? When asked what industry they were in filmakers saw their product as “cinema film”. Had they been more Marketing Orientated ( OMG, i actually learnt something and remembered that term lol!)..then they would have re-defined their industry as “entertainment”. Its about how wide or narrow we define our market segment.
So, are we simply sex workers in the sex industry or are we all part of the entertainment industry?!
Is there more emotion, artistic creativity and drama attached to being a spanking model than to being a hooker?
That’s me done on this now cos i’m in danger of waffling!
Before I start this, I stress this is my personal opinion and don’t represent anyone else viewpoint apart from my own.
I don’t know what our official job area is, I am fine with being a sex worker, I am fine if I am not. I’m generally not a fan of labels and compartmentalising. However, I do support The Sexual Freedom Coalition.
I don’t see what I do rating me apart from or as better than any hooker. In fact I greatly admire hookers for no other reason than I couldn’t do their job. Equally I am sure there are many out there who would say the same about spankees.
Because one largely involves sex, and one largely involves pain doesn’t necessarily make them different, nor does it make them the same. It could be argued that I provide, at the most basic level, stress relief and at a more complex level, psychological reassurance through drama and role play. It could also be argued by the more cynical that I have just become inured to a certain level of pain and able to detach emotionally for the sake of earning high levels of cash in relatively short periods of time. Both arguments could equally be applied the roles that hookers fulfil. I am sure that drama and creativity is required from hookers too, just in different ways!
As a professional spankee, it’s more than just getting your arse whacked. Often you have to be a best friend, a confidante, a psychologist and a nanny all in one go. I imagine the world of professional hooking is no different. The biggest art is in achieving all that and still maintaining a reasonably professional distance.
The one thing that never changes is that with hookers comes good and bad experiences, those who are interested in providing a quality service and those who aren’t. The same applies in the world of spankees just as much.
This has been such an interesting discussion, and I’ve been trying to keep out of it just to see what happens, but after Lucy has spent so much effort articulating her thoughts, I thought it would be rude not to share my own.
I’m not fond of labels, and on the whole, they don’t really stick to me very well. I can be a whore or an angel depending on who I’m talking to, or my mood, or the time of the day.
At the same time, I’m not particularly bothered by labels. Call me what you like; if you’re doing it to upset me, you will probably fail; if you’re trying to figure me out – you might succeed, or you might not.
At the very same time, I believe that each girl can mix and much her own labels depending on her comfort level, and what she needs to think of herself to keep the internal flora of her soul happy and blooming. You want to think you’re a sex worker? Fine, be one. You’d rather be something else? Sure, go ahead.
I’d much rather that this splitting of semantic hairs wasn’t caused by women trying to establish their superiority over other women in similar occupations, but there is little to be done other than gently pointing out that the “I’m better than you/her/them-over-there” attitude is pretty unattractive.
So yes, returning to spanking models and sex workers. I believe that the girls who do parties and 1-2-1s could probably be said to do sex work, and the girls who do only shoots probably couldn’t. Neither of these could probably be said to be hookers, unless they have sex with the people they see. How this matters, other than having my opinion expressed in public, I’m not sure. I can offer no arguments to support this; it’s simply what I think is true today.
Whatever you think you are, please stay safe.